The world makes millions of dollars selling chocolates, flowers, and little cardboard Scooby Doo I-love-Yous all because of a priest who was martyred in 270AD.
If the world is going to celebrate a Holiday about love, then perhaps we should celebrate that its namesake is borrowed from a beloved saint in the Catholic Church who learned to love from the Source of Love--God Himself. After all, St. John tells us: "...everyone who loves is begotten by God and knows God. Whoever is without love does not know God, for God is love." 1 John 4: 7-8
This February as we were swirled around in a whirlwind of red and pink and various sentiments on love (some true, some very far from truth), we asked YOU to share with us your stories of God's imprint on your love relationships. In this issue you will hear from the winners of the Love Like The Lord Essay Contest who shared with us the ways that understanding God's love, and His plan for our sexuality has impacted their relationships. What they have to say might surprise you...
Captured Little Heart
By Justine LaBruzzo
Everyone loves a good fairy tale, although many believe that they are something to be left for children—a fantasy too far from real life. This is a real story about a princess, her capture, and the fight to win her heart by the perfect prince. This is my love story, and it is entirely true.
I was born on the east coast and lived there with my parents, older sister, and younger brother for six years. My loving parents announced to me just after first grade that we were moving closer to my mom’s side of the family, to the Midwest. I, the outgoing, spunky middle child was excited to make new friends. We made the big move, and as far as I knew everything was wonderful.
A year after the switch Dad left to visit his side of the family. I found out soon after that he wasn’t planning on moving back. He still loved us and wanted to see us, but it just wasn’t working out for him to be out there, for reasons unbeknownst to little me. I don’t remember much about that time, but I do remember one thing: Dad made Mom cry. I made a decision that night with no idea how it would alter my life. I chose a life without Dad.
The three of us kids spent the school year with Mom and the summer with Dad, which worked out fine. For years I was civil to Dad, but I had always felt like he didn’t just leave Mom, but he left us too. I secretly wanted to let him in, but my stubborn pride had too strong of a hold on me, and it grew stronger as time went on. The wound was too deep for me to let go.
I am forever grateful to Mom for teaching us the Catechism and to love the Lord with all of our hearts, and the grace we were given through her is immeasurable. Although I knew Christ as the Son of God who died for my sins, I hadn’t yet known him as someone who could fill the hole I had in my heart. I tried to make up for it elsewhere. I thrived on attention, especially from boys. I loved flirting and learned to use my feminine wiles to get whatever I wanted. It seemed like I couldn’t keep good girl friends for long, but that didn’t bother me as long as I had some guy to remind me periodically that I was pretty or that someone was thinking of me. When I was 15 I got my first boyfriend and was swept up in a whirlwind romance. He was 2 ½ years older than me and leaving for basic training for the Army. We made up for our time apart with intimate visits and phone calls that only fed our infatuation for each other. The whole affair spun out of control and I ended it multiple times, but he was the most constant man in my life at that point—and I couldn’t let him go. We were on and off for years, and I filled his absences with late-night hookups. I fell into habits of grave sin, but I needed affection, and boys gave it to me. They made me feel beautiful, appreciated, and wanted.
My lows were balanced with spiritual highs from Catholic conferences and retreats, where I could see the error in my ways and promise God that I would change. However, my broken heart needed that physical person to whisper he loved me and give me kisses. I entered as a freshman into a wonderful Catholic college, surrounded by holy, attractive men who knew how to treat a woman right. It was there that I met a man I thought would be my future husband. He was everything I could have wanted. He respected me; I could see it in his actions. We were chaste, we went by the book, and we even prayed together on the phone! Betrayals and broken hearts in my past made me hesitant, but after much coaxing, I gave him my entire heart. I had a new home in him.
The emotional honeymoon didn’t last. Just over six months into our relationship, he flipped a switch and everything came to a bitter crashing end. I cried and screamed to God, begging for no more pain. I was blinded by my hurt and flung myself at the feet of the Eucharist in adoration. Slowly, the flow of my tears slowed and my breathing began to slow. I heard no voice, felt no touch, saw no apparition. But I calmly returned to my room and listened to music. A song began to play with a soft pace. He sang to me:
“He is jealous for me.”
The words struck a chord in my heart. Someone is jealous for my love; he wants it for himself first. I kept listening.
“Loves like a hurricane; I am a tree bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.”
I pictured a tree, swaying back and forth by strong but gentle winds. The beat reminded me of a waltz.
“Oh, how he loves us.”
Jesus does love me, but it’s not the same as a man in front of me that I can touch, feel, or taste.
“And heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss and my heart turns
violently inside of my chest.”
All of a sudden it all came together for me. Heaven met earth when God became man, and Christ meets me at my lips in the Eucharist. This was the dialogue of love that I had been longing for: the man to meet me at the altar with an incarnate kiss. Christ is my beloved, the rock upon whom I build my days and spend my evenings dreaming of. I was captured by pain and freed by the Prince of Peace who sacrificed his life for this princess.
Happy Valentine’s Day, from this little heart captured by Christ.
Passionate Love
By Charbel J. Semaan
Passion. Be passionate. What is your passion? Love passionately!
I thought I had it. I thought I was. I thought I knew, and I thought I did!
Throughout college and early in my career it was something I completely lost. I was void of passion. To be void of passion is to be void of love.
What was I if I lacked passion? Lukewarm. Like a bowl of your favorite soup or stew on a cold winter day but room temperature and unappealing. Not quite the satisfying and gratifying experience. I would have spit myself out.
Who was I if I lacked passion? No one. I cannot be anyone else. That would be impossible. I’m uniquely created; we all are. If I’m not being who I am and being that well, then I am lacking the essence from which I am created. After all, I was made in God’s image and likeness.
As a teen, I was enthusiastic about my family and friends, my studies, my competitive sports and activities, and about my faith. I prayed confidently and loved being Catholic. In college and for several years afterward that enthusiasm was cooled with moral relativism, apathy, self-doubt, fake confidence, impurity, lust, and pride.
I had even stopped praying altogether. I still believed in God; that never changed. I simply stopped talking to Him. The less I talked to God, however, the more I opened the door for conversations with sin.
Each time I attempted to warm up and seek that relationship again, I was cooled with more opportunities to sin. Impure thoughts, impure words, and impure actions. “I guess it’s too late,” I would think to myself. “Just don’t do that again or say that again.” “Go to Mass every Sunday this month.” This month! I would allow the conversation with sin to begin and find myself failing again. And again.
I was utterly miserable and depressed.
I couldn’t understand how I had once accomplished so much with great enthusiasm and passion to then be in the “prime of my life” and feel such emptiness. I wish I could say I had a crowning moment, a moment that changed my life from which I never looked back…I didn’t.
I did have a seed though. It was a seed that had every intention of sprouting and taking root. A beloved family member planted the seed, and I developed a curiosity for the meaning of chastity.
Seeking more resources, I devoured everything I read about chastity and the connection to the Catholic Church’s teachings. The more I read the more I was nourished. I was finally making sense of the pure manhood my parents always taught me with the faith I had once loved so much. The heat from the truth of chastity was so comforting. I wanted the seed to grow. I wanted that seed to bear much fruit!
It didn’t.
There was some fruit. I cleaned up my thoughts, my use of vulgar words, and I practiced being a more honorable gentleman. I felt myself more confident and excited about the faith again. I prayed more often. I went to Mass more frequently. I discovered Eucharistic Adoration and my love for spending time in front of Christ. I prayed more fervently, I fasted more frequently, but I still couldn’t figure out what was missing.
There was one thing that wasn’t missing: the conversation with sin. I was confronted with even more nagging and deceiving and tempting by the enemy. I continued to fall. I would seek forgiveness, but I would feel incomplete after I left the Confessional. I didn’t feel renewed. I tried genuinely to be pure and honorable. To be a man for my family, my friends, my colleagues, and my future bride. Something was missing. I was frustrated and needed a boost.
Another seed. I was inspired to tune to the local Catholic radio station. The more I listened the more I wanted. There was so much I realized I didn’t actually know about what I claimed to believe.
More seeds. I began hearing many familiar and unfamiliar words and expressions on the radio. Annunciation. Presentation. Visitation. Nativity. Adoration. Benediction. Immaculate Heart. Most Sacred Heart. The Passion.
Half I knew. More than half I didn’t know! (That doesn’t make sense, I realize. How do you think I felt at the time trying to figure it out?) I sought their meaning. I kept seeking, searching online, finding books and other resources, and asking questions.
My enthusiasm grew stronger. Morning offerings, mid-day Angelus, three o’clock Divine Mercy…my days were different. I was different.
I still struggled.
As I drew closer to Christ, I found myself being haunted by past sins of impurity that were already forgiven and suffocated by current habitual sins of impurity in thoughts, words, and actions. It was more than just impurity of sexual nature. I mean all the impurities that masks the salt and light we’re each called to be. Each impurity impeded my path to healing, to my future bride, to God’s will, and to holiness.
Through the Sacrament of Reconciliation, I confessed past forgiven sins again and my frustration for admitting the same sins I kept committing. One afternoon I was especially frustrated and dejected. A priest told me, “To confess forgiven sins shows that you do not understand and trust in the power of Christ’s divine mercy. Your frustration over habitual sins shows you think you can defeat Satan alone. You cannot. This Lent is a season of preparation for you. Prepare for His Passion and Resurrection, be healed by His abundant mercy, and develop the humility to ask Christ for aid in battling sins.”
I realized that through college and early in my career I had replaced passion with pride. I could do it all. I could be happy with my own goals and ambition. I could figure out why I was so miserable and fix it. Later, I could make the seeds of virtues bear fruit! I could be who I’m created to be. Not without Christ I couldn’t.
I finally discovered what was missing. Passion. Zeal. It’s the enthusiasm that comes from loving Christ and emanating that love through pure thoughts, pure words, and pure actions. Pure passionate love is a gentle strength. Christ’s Passion is the complete model for us to emulate in order to fully love. To be void of passion is to be void of love. God is love. We know He will spit us out if we are lukewarm (Revelation 3:15).
I was lukewarm and I was not realizing for what purpose Christ had created me.
We’re called to be on fire, to be inflamed by the passion of the Holy Spirit, and to love. Today, when the coolness of worldly desires attempts to splash me, I desire even more to grow in the virtues that keep me in the warmth of Christ’s Most Sacred Heart and guard me from ever being lukewarm again.
I’ll ask again. What is your passion? Better still, who is your passion? Christ is my passion. He is my love. And in the Eucharist I love my family, my friends, my future bride, and each one of you.
I desire no other way to love.
Ask Chris: How do I do Valentine's Day the Christian way??
By Chris Morales
Every Valentine's Day we see people striving to do lovely things for their husbands, wives, boyfriends, and girlfriends. It's almost like Christmas for couples in a purely material sense of gift giving. I think we can do some really sensible things to help spiritualize this day just as we do for Christmas by putting Jesus at the center of it all.
Instead of focusing on things we can focus on persons. Many couples find strength and unity by praying together and this is a good way to kick off an evening. I would suggest keeping Jesus at the center of your interactions . A good tip in order to connect well with the person you are dedicated to is to avoid particularly noisy atmospheres on this day. Entertainment might be entertaining but not especially good for a deepening of communications that make possible verbal expressions of love and care. For instance, avoid going to a baseball game or other sporting event.
Remember to make the person you love the focus of your day and that is the best way to honor and love the person you are devoted to and remember to keep Jesus at the center of your interactions. If you can accomplish this for one day you might find it beneficial to make it a habit.
What's LOVE got to do with it?
Words on love from Jesus Himself...
"As the Father loves me, so I also love you.
Remain in my love.
If you keep my commandments, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy might be in you and your joy might be complete. This is my commandment: love one another as I love you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends." John 15: 9-14
"You have heard it said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you..."Matthew 5: 43-44
"The first [greatest commandment] is this: '...You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these." (Mark 12:29-31)
Featured Speakers:
Samuel and Adriana Vasquez
Samuel Vasquez has been a chastity speaker to bilingual audiences for over ten years. After graduating with a Bachelor of Arts in Philosophy and Theology from the University of Notre Dame, Samuel worked as youth evangelist for St. Joseph Communications, as a high school religion teacher and as a spokesman for the Louisiana Governor’s Program on Abstinence. Samuel was a seminarian for three years, during which time he continued to give several talks concerning chastity, relationships, morality and the Catholic faith.
He is currently a Ph.D. student in Systematic Theology at the Catholic University of America specializing in the thought of Pope Benedict. In his presentations, Samuel seeks to combine his high energy and enthusiasm with his extensive knowledge of Scripture, the Fathers, the saints and especially John Paul and Benedict’s writings on the person, relationships, marriage, family and sexuality.
Recently married in 2010, Samuel and his wife give presentations together on the topics of marriage and family, chastity, and theology.
Adriana Vasquez holds a B.A. from the Franciscan University of Steubenville and an M.T.S. from the Pontifical John Paul II Institute for Studies in Marriage and Family. Upon finishing her masters’ degree in theology, she was hired to coordinate and teach the Spanish marriage preparation and pro-life activities in the Archdiocese of New York. Afterwards, she returned to studies to pursue a doctorate in Systematic Theology at the Catholic University of America. Her pastoral and academic background coupled with her deep interest in the writings on marriage and the human person by Bd. Pope John Paul II give her unique insight on the topics of love, marriage, and the complementarity of man and woman.
Adriana speaks both to college students and engaged couples on the topics of marriage and family, Natural Family Planning and chastity. In addition to her expertise in theology and catechesis, Adriana’s presentations include references to the psychology of relationships as well as classical literature and philosophy. She recently married in 2010, and speaks together with her husband on these same themes.
YOU can help spread the joy of purity by making a donation to The Goretti Group!
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