On Your Mark, Get Set…Race for the Chaste!By Peggy Tacchino
Today, the world might view a Chastity Conference as something less appealing and far stranger than a Star Trek Convention. But the hip, fun, down-to-earth group of young adults that participated in the Goretti Group’s Chastity Conference, debunked the idea that chastity is for repressed, out-of-touch-with-reality prudes, and proved that chastity is about living life to the full in freedom and experiencing true joy in purity.
On August 14-16, local Californians, along with a strong showing of out-of-staters gathered in downtown San Diego at Our Lady of the Rosary Parish to participate in the Race for the Chaste Chastity Leadership Training. The weekend equipped participants with the tools needed to effectively speak about chastity in front of an audience, through the media and to friends and family. It also gave them the opportunity to put their knowledge into immediate action through a mini-mission.
The weekend of training was kicked off by world-renowned chastity speaker Jason Evert, who shared glory stories and horror stories from his travels around the world. He spoke to the great need for this message of chastity, highlighting the broken hearts he encounters as often as he speaks. He shared a myriad of true stories from teens he has met who are struggling with the after-affects of impurity ranging from self-mutilation to abortion. Evert’s horror stories of teens with deeply wounded hearts brought home the urgency for the message of chastity to be shared effectively, and his glory stories of conversions and healing demonstrated the power the chastity message has to change lives.
As Evert explained, all human beings have a naturally good and deeply embedded desire for love and union. Sadly, in our fallen world, this desire has been twisted and distorted, turned from love into lust, from self-giving into selfishness. Our culture is blasted with this message of unchastity as the norm, and it is the chastity leader’s job to fight against the lies of the media to reveal the truth about the joy of purity. Chastity is about reclaiming our God-given sexual desire by placing it back under the Creator’s direction and plan for sexuality in order to find true freedom. It was not surprising then that Evert’s top recommendation for spreading the message of chastity was to cling to God who is love and made us for love. In fact, his first three items on the to-do list for a chastity speaker were: pray, fast and offer up your sufferings.
The rest of the weekend was an opportunity for participants to put Evert’s suggestions into action as they sacrificed early mornings to go to Mass, pray the rosary and offer their bodies as a living sacrifice in the America’s Finest 5k/Half Marathon. Participants were also equipped to spread the message by listening to a great line-up of talks and workshops on topics ranging from Theology of the Body, to sound-bites for the media, to the Church’s teaching on homosexuality. Thus empowered by great speakers with tools to craft their own chastity talk, the Race for the Chasters worked hard to fashion their personalized message of pure love. During Chastity Idol, the culminating session of the Race for the Chast weekend, the students became the teachers and put the weekend mantra into practice as they stepped up to the mic to “spread the joy!”
While the weekend was the Group’s sixth annual training session, the race idea had been brewing since the inception of the Goretti Group and came to fruition on August 16 at the America’s Finest 5K /Half Marathon. The race launched the Goretti Group’s new prayer-raising, fundraising and team-building program called the Race for the Chaste. It raised over 100 prayers, $4000 for chastity, and created a support network among its participants. One supporting spectator shared their joy in receiving words of gratitude from unrelated Christian runners as they read “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” on the back of the Race for the Chasters’ T-shirts. A Race for the Chaste half-marathon runner, Bridge Frese said about her run: “Meeting that goal and crossing that finish line was truly a high point in my life. I know that it was not just the superb training, but the prayers and fellowship that carried me through.”
The phrase “Race for the Chaste” captures the urgency of sharing the message of chastity while imitating St. Paul who “competed well [and] finished the race” (2 Tim 4:7) out of love for Christ and others. The participants wear chastity promotional T-shirts while participating in a local public race as runners, walkers and supporting spectators. Race participants gain prayer and financial sponsorships and offer a physical sacrifice for their sponsor’s petitions. Coached by San Diego Track Club’s Paul Greer, this program is open to all and is a fun means to spread the message of chastity in a non-threatening way.
Dawn Suleski, one of the Race for the Chaste participants, sums up her experience like this:
"This weekend taught us what it is to be pure and chaste, and how to go out to explain ‘pure’ and ‘chaste’ to a world that sees it as being a restriction [to]…freedom….
There are a lot of people hurt … because of a step into a questionable situation that ended up making them tumble into impurity. For many of these people, they can’t see the hope of recovering, of finding themselves again or believing they are worth more…. A message from the Goretti Group, through Race for the Chaste, is that there is hope, hope to become whole again, hope for healing and belief that there is a second chance…”
Featured Speaker: VJ Brion
V.J. began speaking out as a survivor of sexual abuse for the Goretti Group in 2004, sharing her story of healing and the freedom she has received from consecrating herself to the Lord through the Sacraments, prayer and the Blessed Mother. God’s Mercy and incredible love continues to heal and convict V.J. of the message of purity…that it is for EVERYONE!
V.J. Brion grew up singing from the young age of 2 and has developed her gift of music over the years to pursue her Bachelor of Music degree in Commercial Music, Vocal Performance from the prestigious Lamont School of Music at the University of Denver in Colorado. V.J. has worked for several parishes in the Diocese of San Diego from leading music for liturgies to teaching music in 4 Catholic schools. She is a proud member and worship leader of City of the Lord, San Diego as well as Youth Coordinator and Youth Choir Director of Mission San Diego de Alcala.
V.J.’s personal compositions can be heard on My Space at: www.myspace.com/singofgrace
The Secret to Spiritual Success and Healing
by Peggy Tacchino
“Yet it was I who taught Ephraim to walk, who took them in my arms; I drew them with human cords, with bands of love; I fostered them like one who raises an infant to his cheeks; yet though I stooped to feed my child, they did not know that I was their healer.” Hosea 11:3-4
The Lord is our healer. And as, VJ Brion, a Goretti Group speaker and sexual abuse survivor testified at the Race for the Chaste on Saturday, August 15, amazing things happen when we open ourselves to receive the love and healing that God is dying to give us. VJ’s talk commenced an evening of spiritual nourishment for the Race for the Chaste participants, in which they received time for personal reflection, prayer, Adoration and the Sacrament of Reconciliation. VJ shared her story and the deep wounds and confusion that resulted in her heart as a result of sexual abuse. She also shared the great hope and healing she found in the Lord, particularly through the Sacraments of the Eucharist and Reconciliation. As VJ noted in her talk, she is not alone: 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have been sexually abused in some way during their lifetime. Yet, sexual abuse isn’t the only way we are wounded by unchastity; whether it is the trauma of sexual abuse, post-abortive depression, an eating disorder or simply low-self esteem and broken hearts from broken relationships each of us is in need of healing.
Why are we so wounded? Well, the media and the popular mentality about sex, relationships and love is the exact opposite of God’s plan for these things. And yet the voice that proclaims the lies clangs much louder than the gentle whisper of true love. We find ourselves bombarded with lies that equate love with lust, and tell us that our bodies are objects rather than sacred gifts. Because of these lies our understanding of the dignity and beauty of human beings has been gravely endangered and, often times, lost altogether. But, as VJ shared, there is hope to re-order our perspective to align with the Maker's and become whole again by His grace. Inspired by this powerful speaker, the Race for the Chaste participants were empowered to do just that. As they took the bold step of self-examination and prayed for their own healing, the evening that ensued was a powerful encounter with the God who “stoops to feed” His children.
As the Catholic Church believes, it is in the Blessed Sacrament that God most profoundly “stoops to feed” His children – their He offers the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of Jesus Christ, humbly hidden and always available to us in the small white host that we receive during Communion at Mass. According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, “At the heart of the Eucharistic celebration are the bread and wine that, by the words of Christ and the invocation of the Holy Spirit, become Christ's Body and Blood. …The signs of bread and wine become, in a way surpassing understanding, the Body and Blood of Christ…” (CCC 1333) By the power of God’s command (the same voice that spoke creation into existence) spoken through the priest’s words, Transubstantiation occurs and the bread and wine become the same Jesus who once said to his disciples: “Amen, amen I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you do not have life within you. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him on the last day. For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me and I in him.” (John 6: 53-56) And it is this Jesus, present in the Eucharist, who still asks His disciples to remain in His love.
It was that same Jesus, hidden in the host, who drew most participants during the night to approach Him, like the woman who suffered greatly from hemorrhages and said to herself “if I but touch his clothes, I shall be cured.” (Mk 5:28) As they fell before him, touching the monstrance that held his Sacred Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity, the Race for the Chaste participants experienced His love and received great healing in their hearts. It is this same Jesus that waits to give Himself to us completely as often as we will go to Mass and receive Him. And participating in the Mass and visiting Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament was VJ’s recommendation for healing—in her life it was the key that opened the door to total transformation and great peace and wholeness.
VJ also spoke of the great and powerful grace she received in the Confessional. There she met Jesus in the priest who forgave her sins, and gave her a new heart. It is Jesus, our God, who has the power to heal and restore, for it was about him that it was prophesied by Isaiah: “He has sent me to bring glad tidings to the lowly, to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and release to the prisoners…” (Isaiah 61: 1) Jesus waits, not only in the Eucharist but in the Sacrament of Reconciliation to free and make hearts, once broken by sin, whole again.
The Sacraments of the Eucharist and Reconciliation are powerhouses of grace, and these gifts are available to us every day, to lift us up into that fullness of joy, peace and hope that Jesus came to give us. It is this message of hope and healing that the Goretti Group brought to the Race for the Chaste participants in order that they can deliver the message to all those they touch. It is this message that we pray you too will hear and find everlasting joy in purity.
For more information about the Sacrament of the Eucharist and what Catholics believe about the The Real Presence, check out these great articles:
Ecclessia de Eucharistia
Christ in the Eucharist
To get a better understanding of the Sacrament of Confession check out these articles.
The Forgiveness of Sins
Can God Forgive You if You've Had Pre-Marital Sex?
Confession and the Early Church
God is too Hot to Handle
If you would like a free documentary, which draws on people’s personal testimonies about these sacraments to invite its viewers into a dynamic relationship with Christ and His Church through the Eucharist and Reconciliation please email peggytacchino@gmail.com for a free copy of “Daily Bread” (Eucharist documentary) or “Come as You Are” (Reconciliation documentary)
Turning Your Lifelong Regrets into Immeasurable Graces
by Jim Benefield, LMFT
Originally published in CEDARS OF LEBANON, Newsletter of the John Paul II Institute of Christian Spirituality. June 2001 Reprinted with permission from Dr. Jim Benefield
Nowadays, courses on 'Human Development' teach that we have the ability to remember past experiences in minute detail. We now know that our ability to store memories begins during the first nine months of life. In his book Babies Remember Birth, David Chamberlain, Ph.D. shows that newborns remember the events of their gestation, and that it is even possible for adults to recall the events surrounding their gestation and birth. Whenever memories of experiences like these are stimulated, a flood of feelings can be released. Many of these memories and associated feelings are painful. The memory of painful experiences in turn often lead to regret – a feeling of permanent loss occasioned by the memory of some painful event.
Without the miraculous gift of bi-location, that God gives to saints like Padre Pio or Venerable Mary of Agreda, we cannot be in two places at the same time. Nor can we be “at two times in the same space.” In our ordinary human condition, we move forward in time in a linear and progressive way. Consequently, we cannot recreate one second in time nor erase a single unpleasant experience. We own each past moment of our lives, whether we like it or not – whether those past moments were shaped by our own actions or by the actions of others. We have no more control over the past than we have over the color of our skin, the identity of our parents, the affluence of our families, or what happened to us during most of our early years.
The Regions of Regret
Some have said "I was in the wrong place at the wrong time", or, "I wish that I was born at a different time” but the bare fact remains. What has been done cannot be physically undone. Once an act is realized, that act remains a part of real-time history, never to be erased. In the progressive momentum of time, one's circumstances may change for the better or worse according to one’s opportunities. And even though some original acts that can be rectified by succeeding opportunities, other regrettable acts leave a lasting legacy of shame, self hatred, anger and depression.
These are the regions of regret. "If only I had a second chance", "I wish I could take everything back that I said", "I'm so sorry that I had the abortion; hit my wife; sexually abused my child; have to go to jail because I burglarized a car; ever used drugs; punched my mom; received a sexually transmitted disease because of promiscuous sex at such an early age.” Often times the consequences of an act can follow throughout one's life without relief from emotional pain because one cannot undo what has been done within the limits of linear time and physical distance.
When people lose their ability to focus on the present with hope for the future because of the traumas and failures of the past, they easily become prey to depression and despair. In their self-absorption, hopeless people cannot see God and what He might be doing through the events that they regret. Their anger and even hatred towards others hold them back from looking into the merciful eyes of God.
Thankfully, Jesus is not bound by linear time or physical distance: “Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever.” By his divine-human power, Jesus has borne all of our sorrows. By his divine-human power, Jesus has perfectly atoned for each and every one of our sins. Moreover, Jesus has prepared a perfect life for each of us. As St. Paul wrote in his letter to the Ephesians, “We are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus for good works that He has prepared for us beforehand that we should walk in them” (Ephesians 2:10). Jesus has gone before us to offer the Father all of our sins, washed in his Precious Blood. For this present moment, and for each future present moment of our lives, Jesus has prepared a perfect act of love for us to do together with Him, for the glory of the Father, and for the good of all souls, past, present, and future. Making friends with past losses and regrets by purposefully giving them back to God with Jesus and placing them in his providential hands opens the way to total freedom from the bondage of living in regrets.
A Spiritual Exercise To Attain Freedom from Past Regrets
In the course of my practice, I have discovered a spiritual exercise that can help to bring about this liberation from past regrets. In this article, I will describe this exercise as a testimony to the infinite mercy of Jesus Christ whose redeeming love embraces the past, the present, and the future. If you wish to perform this exercise, you will need to set several hours aside to do so slowly and prayerfully. If you prefer simply to read the exercise, you may. However, all of us, if we search deeply, will find multiple regrets: wishing that we had done this or not done that, sorrowful over what we should have done or didn’t do. Freedom from regret can be achieved by submitting one’s entire past to the Precious Blood of Jesus. This exercise is not the only way to do so, but it is an effective way.
Face Your Regrets
The first step to freedom from past regrets is to describe them in detail. Explain what you regret having lost in terms of past, present, and future opportunities. For example, “My life would have been so much better if I had not been adopted out into this dysfunctional family,” or “If I had worked harder at my grades, I would have been able to go to the school of my choice.” Express your anger at yourself and at others. When you have finished expressing your anger, imagine yourself wrapping your regrets into “a package.” Then visualize yourself going into the Garden of Gethsemene and presenting your package of regrets to Jesus in his agony.
As you present this package of regrets to Jesus, He invites you to kneel down with Him and you hear Him say, “I will make something good of this.” And then you see Jesus do a very strange thing: He takes your package of regrets, and as he places them together with the multitude of regrets already before him in the garden, He pulls you close to Himself and begins to sob uncontrollably. As He sobs, you hear Him pray to His Heavenly Father. He see that these regrets have seriously impeded a healthy trustful relationship between you and your Heavenly Father. His prayer to his Father is filled with compassion on your behalf.
You lean close to hear Him pray: “My dear Father, I know that you will refuse Me nothing. I bring you this child whose heartaches and disappointments have interfered with his ability to love and trust You. Father, he is your child, and I ask that You not hold this against him. He has been blinded by so much sorrow that all he sees is himself and his regrets. He doesn’t see Us and our love for him. Heal the anger in his soul, and by your grace do not let him be dominated by self-loathing, resentments, hostility and unforgiveness towards himself and others.
“Oh merciful and forgiving Father, touch him with the fire of your forgiveness and plunge this fire into the deepest recesses of his being, so that he is moved also to seek out forgiveness from You for those that have harmed him. Remove this bondage of hate and let him no longer be ruled by it. Remove the dismal outlook that he has for his future and fill him with hope and knowledge of Our love for him. Give him all that he needs so that he can receive forgiveness for himself and hold on to Your forgiveness as his most precious gift from You.
“By the power that I have in You, I hereby declare this soul free from the destructive effects of the regrets of his past that he has not been able to let go. I declare him free from the harm that he has done to himself and others, and from the harm that others have done to him. Let healing flow into those who have been wounded by his actions and omissions, and when the time is right let there be reconciliation between them.
“Place your hands over his heart and seal it with a confident faith in your providential care for him. Let him see the regrets that he has clung to so tenaciously as ‘your branding mark’ that will forever bind him to your love for all to see. As surely as the cattleman brands his steer for all to know its ownership, so let it be with him. Even as You have used my wounds of the crucifixion to draw mankind back to You, so let his wounds be joined with Mine, co-mingled with my suffering for the expiation of sin and the conversion of souls. Even as none of my suffering was wasted, do not let one morsel of his suffering go unused for your divine purpose.”
As Jesus prays, you notice that your package of anger and regrets is saturated with his tears and by droplets of the blood from the ‘sweat’ of his brow. Jesus hold on to you even more tightly and concludes, “I thank you for receiving and honoring this prayer on ‘John’s behalf’ even as you receive and honor me.”
The Challenge of the Cross
And now, Jesus looks at you, his eyes burning with love. Those compassionate eyes plead with you to accept forgiveness from the Heavenly Father. And, as the fire of his love penetrates your very soul, you become aware of an eternal request that only you can answer. “Will you accept your regrets as a cross that only you can carry – for the expiation of sin and for the conversion of souls – so that by your intention you can join with Me to help make reparation to the Father and to love Him on behalf of all”?
At this moment you have a choice: “Will you choose to resent these painful experiences, which means fighting against grace and mercy and staying in guilt, grief and despair? Or, will you choose to live with these regrets, which may represent sadness and permanent losses, as your gift to the Trinitarian lover, with the intention of standing in prayer for many?”
Through the example of heroic men and women in the scriptures and throughout history, you know that many have been blessed and saved because of the actions of the few. You instinctively know what your choice at this moment is critical. You hear yourself saying, “I will let this be my cross, and I am resolved to pick up my cross daily and follow you as your disciple. (Let yourself feel the relief that comes with making that choice in faith, and let the power of the Trinitarian Godhead rush through you!)
Now Jesus wants to invite you to join with Him in prayer as He prays for so many who are being held in bondage by their inability to let go of their painful past. You hear yourself say, “I thank you for all this forgiveness that You pour out upon me and upon all souls as freely as torrential waters that fall from the sky and soak the earth. I humbly receive all that You have for me.” And then the strangest sentences come out of your mouth: “This is too much of a gift for me to keep to myself. I implore you, Lord, to let me go with You into every heart that is in need of your forgiveness so that I can speak to them of your abundant love. Let me plead to the Father with You on behalf of all those who need to forgive others and who need to let go of their painful regrets. Let us go quickly so that souls can be reconciled with You and avoid falling deeper into the depths of despair.”
To your surprise, you find yourself filled with compassion for souls who have been in your situation, and in that compassion you feel an urgency to pray for them. You turn to Jesus who is suffering so much over these regrets because they represent a multitude of souls of the whole human family. It seems as if time has stood still as you see Jesus take each bundle of regrets and clutch them to Himself while interceding on each one’s behalf. You see that there are many souls who cannot accept his love and mercy, who will choose to stay in their unforgiveness, regret and despair. And you see that this causes Jesus infinitely more pain and makes Him sweat even more blood.
Throughout your Christian Life, you have asked Jesus to compassionate you for what you have gone through. Now, you find yourself compassionating Jesus for what He has suffered on our behalf. Only love could do this. In your compassion for Jesus, you express your sincere sorrow for ever having doubted Him. You want to apologize to Jesus on behalf of the whole human family, from the first man to the last, for all the times we have not trusted in Him to help us in our moments of crisis. (It was in those times that we trusted more in ourselves and in others. Oh Jesus, forgive our foolishness!) As you continue to compassionate Jesus in all that He suffers, you notice that He is looking somewhat more refreshed. His glance tells you that He is most pleased to have found someone who is willing to spend time consoling Him as He suffers – as He makes reparation to the Father for all the wrongs that have been committed against Him. He sees that you are someone who makes reparation to the Father for all the wrongs that have been committed against Him – someone who will also make reparation to the Heavenly Father for offences committed against Him.
Your words to Jesus as you prepare yourself to leave are filled with gratitude for having freed you from the bondage of regrets.
The Principle of Forgiveness
The principle of forgiveness in cyclical: God wants to forgive, and his infinite mercy flows to us through his son Jesus. Indeed, He wants us to desire His forgiveness. But to desire is not enough. He wants us to accept His love and forgiveness and to forgive all those who have harmed us. But even this is not enough. He also wants us to compassionate Jesus in the sufferings He endured on our behalf so that we will be set free from self-centeredness. Then He wants us to go and spread the message of forgiveness wherever we can. And finally, to complete the cyclical process, He wants us to come before Jesus and then to Him for his merciful love and forgiveness, for ourselves and for the whole human family.
In my experience, it is gratitude to the Trinity that insures permanent healing. Without continuous gratitude, chances are that that the doors of depression and despair will reopen. On the other hand, when one shoulders his burden of past sins and traumas—in union with the sufferings of Christ for the salvation of souls—the Holy Trinity turns the natural consequences of those regrettable acts into a supernatural source of grace. Through our union with the divine-human life of Jesus, this grace benefits not only the one making the sacrifice, but all souls, past, present, and future.
Jim Benefield LMFT 4551 Moraga Ave. San Diego, CA. 92117 jimbenefield@juno.com
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