October 2008 Goretti Group Gazette

Losing My Daughter and Gaining the Sacred Heart of Jesus
By Angela Santero

Greetings! Some of you may know that I was recently married and that my husband and I were blessed to conceive just a month after our wedding. We were elated and immediately began planning for our child’s arrival. Paul placed his hand on my tummy and prayed over our baby every morning and evening. It was so exciting to see the heart beating at our seven week doctor’s visit as our little gift became more visible. However, we returned three weeks later only to find that her heart stopped beating and that she went to heaven.

While the experience of losing a child was painful, I found that there is great joy on the other end of every suffering that we unite to Christ. Please allow me to take just a few moments to share the joy and love that our daughter’s short life has inspired.

Each time my husband and I come together we pray “Holy Trinity, make us one in mind, heart body and soul; bring about through us new life”. The first love that her life inspired is that within our own relationship. It is an incredible joy to know that Paul and I have cooperated with God in creating an eternal soul and that that eternal soul is an embodiment of our very love for one another. We take comfort in believing that we have the first child of our family interceding for us in heaven.

For me personally, my dream has always been to become an earthly mother. At 37, my daughter, but for a short time, has helped me realize that dream. Her life has inspired me to work to become a better spiritual mother to all of those whose souls I am entrusted to nurture, care for and guide. Her life has created a great hope to fulfill my eternal dream of one day stepping into my place in heaven, embracing my heavenly mother and now being embraced by my daughter as mother. I want her to be proud of the life I lived in that moment.

For the medical team involved, our doctor was genuinely shocked when he saw that Margaret Mary’s body remained incorrupt inside of me for an entire month. He expected to see little during the ultrasound required prior to my surgery. He honored our request to respect her remains and have them released to the morgue, which is not hospital policy. Normally, if the baby is younger than 20 weeks, the baby’s remains are treated as medical waste and incinerated with other unspeakable things. Prior to my procedure he assured me that he had advised the nurses assisting him to take a respectful and serious tone in the surgery room. Following my procedure, he shared with my husband that the experience had helped him see the respect we should pay toward the remains of all human beings, regardless of their stage of life.

I have no doubt that the greatest love my daughter inspired is that of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. When Paul and I were engaged, I was inspired while praying before the Blessed Sacrament, to name our first daughter Margaret Mary (after St. Margaret Mary Alacoque: Promoter of the Sacred Heart Devotion). Paul affectionately abbreviated her name to “Maggie” and we began to refer to our future family as “when Maggie comes along”. We also joked that Maggie was destined for the convent since both of us discerned the religious life but neither one of us stepped up to the plate. After our child’s death, we felt that it was important to name her but didn’t want to presume her gender. We thought perhaps we should choose a gender-neutral name and left it at that. The next day, we attended mass at a place we seldom frequent and I had a beautiful experience. While I was reading some literature in the lobby, I over-heard a nun who was showing some workers around the grounds. One of them asked her name. The nun turned away from them, walked toward me, smiled and said “Margaret”. I was shocked. A few moments later, I introduced myself to her and asked if she was named after St. Margaret Mary Alacoque. She said yes and offered that her mother bore her when she was 38, just about the age I would have been had Maggie been born. The peace I had in my heart confirmed that this was a beautiful message from God that our child was in fact a little girl and that her name is Margaret Mary. I knew as well that in such a moment, God was sharing the mission of my little girl, to join her name-sake in sharing the devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, especially with regard to suffering.

In this devotion, we are asked to receive communion every First Friday and make a weekly Eucharistic Hour in reparation for the sins committed against the Sacred Heart of Jesus. We are also asked to place an image of his heart in a prominent place in our homes. This image should remind us to make Christ the king of our hearts, our relationships and our families, especially during times of suffering. Within each suffering, is an opportunity to experience the passion, death and resurrection of Jesus more intimately. My daughter’s life has been an opportunity for me to experience this. It has been a great suffering and a great joy that has opened my heart more fully to love with the heart of Christ.

In these next few weeks leading up to the election, let us not waste a single suffering – be it lack of sleep, be it hopeless unemployment, be it loneliness. Such sufferings and those you find to be uniquely yours are powerful opportunities to offer hope in what can seem to be a hopeless situation. May the intercession of my daughter bring you closer to the Heart of Christ. To my dearest little one: one day, we will be fully united again, one day I will hold you tight in my arms. Today, let us continue to meet in the depths of the most Sacred Heart of Jesus. Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, “Thy Kingdom Come!”


"Family concerns surface during hearing on Prop 8" states the title of the San Diego Union Tribune article of October 3, 2008
By Dr. Jennifer Roback Morse

Harold Pike, "graduate" of the Same Sex Marriage Affects Everyone program was quoted in this article: "We've already seen the impact of fatherless households... I don't see why we would remove a mother or father from the get-go from a household." Look how Harold has become an effective advocate for marriage!

This article also quotes Dr. J: "Same-sex unions violate the 'child-centered institution of marriage. Mothers and fathers are not interchangeable,' she said, adding gay couples shouldn't wed because they can't bear children."

Here is the full text of Dr. Morse's opening statement. She was greeted with thunderous applause from the many marriage supporters in the auditorium. Our people came out in force, which was a good thing, since the panel of State Senate and State Assembly members was completely stacked against natural marriage. We met many wonderful people who had come from all over Los Angeles to show their support for traditional marriage. All in all, it was a fun day.

I represent the supporters of Proposition 8. We are not here to hurt anybody. Every legitimate objective of gay and lesbian people can be met without redefining marriage. Proposition 8 is not a referendum on whether we like gay people or homosexual practice. We believe Proposition 8 is a referendum about the meaning of marriage.

Marriage is a child-centered, gender-based organic institution that attaches fathers and mothers to each other and fathers to their children. Men and women come together to create children, independently of any government. The duty of caring for those children exists even without a government or any political order.

Opponents of traditional marriage sometimes argue that marriage is not fundamentally about children, since many married couples do not have children. But every child has parents. Every child has a legitimate interest in having a relationship with both parents. Children have a right to know and be known by both parents. Children have a right to their genetic and social heritage.

Children cannot possibly defend these rights by themselves. Adult society must protect them by preventing harm, not through restitution after the fact. Marriage is adult society's way of protecting these universal and legitimate interests of children. The objection that some marriages don't have children stands the rationale for marriage on its head. It views marriage from the adult's perspective. It gives a glimpse of how profoundly adult-centered marriage will become if the advocates of same sex marriage have their way.

Same sex marriage will create both direct and indirect harms to children. The children of same sex couples will be directly harmed. But indirectly, same sex marriage will affect all children.

The children of same sex parents will be deprived of a relationship with at least one of their biological parents. Children are sometimes separated from one or both of their parents. But these situations are universally recognized as unavoidable tragedies. Deliberately depriving a child of his parent is grotesquely unjust and unspeakably cruel.

Same sex parenting, which same sex marriage can only accelerate, creates an adult entitlement to separate children from the parent outside the same sex couple. The UN Convention on the Rights of the Child affirms that the child shall have, "as far as possible, the right to know and be cared for by his or her parents," meaning of course, the father and mother who gave him life. For exactly this reason, France has declined to recognize same sex marriage, same sex adoption rights or a right to reproduce.

Indirectly, same sex marriage affects everyone. The California Supreme Court's decree authorizing same sex marriage was an implicit, yet unmistakable, claim that men and women are interchangeable as parents. The contributions to child-rearing that appear to be distinctly masculine can be rendered by a woman. The unique contributions of mothers can in principle be provided by men. But the claim that men and women are perfect substitutes undercuts the very idea of sexual orientation.

A gay man's insistence on a male sexual partner shows that he does not regard men and women as perfect substitutes. Even a very masculine woman is not a substitute for the male partner that the gay man desires. Gender is relevant to the gay community. The State of California has no business claiming, without proof, that gender is irrelevant to children.

In practice, the claim that mothers and fathers are interchangeable will not affect men and women the same way. Same sex marriage will marginalize men from the family even more than they already are. After instituting same sex marriage, Canada changed their birth certificates. Where the father's name should be, there is a check-off box: father or "other parent." Fatherhood has been reduced to a check-off box.

Two recent studies have estimated the taxpayer costs of fatherless families. The title of one study, The One Hundred Billion Dollar Man, announces the conclusion of the costs to U.S. taxpayers. The other study estimated that fatherlessness costs the taxpayers of California at least $4.8 billion annually, in costs to the criminal justice system, child health and welfare, and foregone earnings.

We have no idea how much fatherlessness will increase, as a result of Californians absorbing the message that fathers are disposable.

Same Sex marriage removes the biological principle from determining parentage. That principle will have to be replaced with something else. There will no longer be "natural parents," only "legal parents." Parentage will have to be assigned, not merely recognized, by the state, thus giving the state more power over the lives of ordinary people.

The advocates of man/woman marriage come from every ethnic group, and from all major religions. We are united in two core beliefs. We believe that mothers and fathers are not interchangeable. And, we believe that children are entitled to be born into a family of the mother and father who brought them into being through an act of love.

When slavery was abolished, all slaves became free. When women obtained the right to vote, the discrimination ended with the very next election. But for children of same sex marriage, the situation will be different. When we come to our senses 30 years from now and realize that we have perpetrated an injustice against children, not a single child born fatherless or motherless within a same sex marriage will get his missing parent back. For children, only prevention will protect their rights.

That is why I will be one of the millions of Californians who vote Yes on Proposition 8. We invite you to join us in voting Yes on Proposition 8.

Many of Dr. J's points in this speech can be found in the CD and DVD set of her talk series, "Same Sex Marriage Affects Everyone." Buy the Home Party Kit to share this vital information with your friends, family, and church.

Proposition 8 Video: How Your Children Will be Affected

Please view this video and send it to as many people as you know in California. Proposition 8 is about defining marriage in the California Constitution saying "only marriage between man and woman is valid or recognized in the State of California". Without this definition to support us we cannot win the important fight for the minds and hearts of public school children who will be taught that same-sex marriage is normal, acceptable, and even desirable.

In Massachusetts same-sex marriage has become the law; watch the painful experience of real parents as they have their right to educate their own child stripped from them by the school district. If Proposition 8 fails you will see the same thing happen in California!

See the video here!

St. Maria Goretti Mass

Join us the first Friday of every month to gather in prayer with others who value the virtue of chastity and recognize its positive impact on ourselves, our families and our society (see Facebooks).

We believe living chastity according to our state in life allows us the freedom to find... true love. It is our dream that one day everyone will have a real chance to discover this love and to live a happy life.

As the Goretti Group we are united in prayer and action to bring the simple beauty of this message to the world. We are virgins and non virgins. We are male and female. We are young and old. We are single, married and ready to make a difference.

Saint Maria Goretti pray for us.

Evening Program celebrated every first Friday of the month at Our Lady of the Rosary in Downtown, San Diego - California. All (ages) are welcome. Please enter the parking lot at 1629 Columbia St.

Where: Our Lady of the Rosary Catholic Church - 1629 Columbia Street; San Diego, CA 92101 map to location

When: See dates under Chastity Related Events at http://www.thegorettigroup.org/events.htm.

Schedule:
6:15PM Confession
6:30PM Mass

Who: Teens, Young Adults, Adults!

Goretti Group Now on Facebooks!

Introducing a new way to be in touch with The Goretti Group. The Goretti Group is now on Facebooks! We have two sites on Facebooks; one is dedicated to St. Maria Goretti for prayer and intercession and the other is dedicated for promoting marriage.

The church invokes the saints to pray for us at every mass we attend. Many blessings are obtained for us by those who have preceded us into Heaven. Saints are held up for imitation according to the virtue they practiced. Our saint, St. Maria Goretti, was known for her chastity made manifest in her martyrdom. So please join our site to become part of the prayer team and to receive new petitions to pray for the advance of chastity in our Church and in the world.

Marriage is a goal of us all, whether we are called to become priests (married to the Church), called to the sacrament of marriage, or to be religious (or singles) in perpetual celibacy which symbolizes the ultimate marriage of humanity to God in eternity. We are called on in a particular way in our generation to understand the deeper meaning of marriage and to promote and protect marriage in secular society that often needs clarification about marriage on so many different levels. Join us and find out more.

The Goretti Group Blog

Welcome to The Goretti Group Blog!

This blog is dedicated to spreading a culture of love and truth. We are an organization involved in spreading the message of chastity, modesty, and the Theology of the Body. We also speak about relationships and Christian dating and marriage. Our speakers talk at venues and travel to wherever we are called to reach our audience. Some venues we typically speak at are conferences, parochial schools, college campuses, Theology on Tap events, rallies, confirmation classes to name a few.

We are a place that affirms your decision to live a chaste and pure life according to the natural light of reason the Creator has endowed every individual and we encourage everyone to embrace this way of life since it the true and authentic and honest way to really be human and it also makes us capable of loving and becoming better people in a life lived for others instead of a life lived solely for the benefit of oneself.

If you feel called to start a Goretti Group Chapter to pass on these ideals and values to your peers and loved ones you may send us a message via this blog or email us at speakers@thegorettigroup.org. Also, if you would like to ask a speaker to come and speak to your group (e.g. youth, young adults, parents) you may contact us for scheduling a speaker. Please feel free to visit our online store to buy materials and learn more about us at our website at www.thegorettigroup.org.