Goretti Group Gazette August 2009

On Your Mark, Get Set…Race for the Chaste!
By Peggy Tacchino

Today, the world might view a Chastity Conference as something less appealing and far stranger than a Star Trek Convention. But the hip, fun, down-to-earth group of young adults that participated in the Goretti Group’s Chastity Conference, debunked the idea that chastity is for repressed, out-of-touch-with-reality prudes, and proved that chastity is about living life to the full in freedom and experiencing true joy in purity.

On August 14-16, local Californians, along with a strong showing of out-of-staters gathered in downtown San Diego at Our Lady of the Rosary Parish to participate in the Race for the Chaste Chastity Leadership Training. The weekend equipped participants with the tools needed to effectively speak about chastity in front of an audience, through the media and to friends and family. It also gave them the opportunity to put their knowledge into immediate action through a mini-mission.

The weekend of training was kicked off by world-renowned chastity speaker Jason Evert, who shared glory stories and horror stories from his travels around the world. He spoke to the great need for this message of chastity, highlighting the broken hearts he encounters as often as he speaks. He shared a myriad of true stories from teens he has met who are struggling with the after-affects of impurity ranging from self-mutilation to abortion. Evert’s horror stories of teens with deeply wounded hearts brought home the urgency for the message of chastity to be shared effectively, and his glory stories of conversions and healing demonstrated the power the chastity message has to change lives.

As Evert explained, all human beings have a naturally good and deeply embedded desire for love and union. Sadly, in our fallen world, this desire has been twisted and distorted, turned from love into lust, from self-giving into selfishness. Our culture is blasted with this message of unchastity as the norm, and it is the chastity leader’s job to fight against the lies of the media to reveal the truth about the joy of purity. Chastity is about reclaiming our God-given sexual desire by placing it back under the Creator’s direction and plan for sexuality in order to find true freedom. It was not surprising then that Evert’s top recommendation for spreading the message of chastity was to cling to God who is love and made us for love. In fact, his first three items on the to-do list for a chastity speaker were: pray, fast and offer up your sufferings.

The rest of the weekend was an opportunity for participants to put Evert’s suggestions into action as they sacrificed early mornings to go to Mass, pray the rosary and offer their bodies as a living sacrifice in the America’s Finest 5k/Half Marathon. Participants were also equipped to spread the message by listening to a great line-up of talks and workshops on topics ranging from Theology of the Body, to sound-bites for the media, to the Church’s teaching on homosexuality. Thus empowered by great speakers with tools to craft their own chastity talk, the Race for the Chasters worked hard to fashion their personalized message of pure love. During Chastity Idol, the culminating session of the Race for the Chast weekend, the students became the teachers and put the weekend mantra into practice as they stepped up to the mic to “spread the joy!”

While the weekend was the Group’s sixth annual training session, the race idea had been brewing since the inception of the Goretti Group and came to fruition on August 16 at the America’s Finest 5K /Half Marathon. The race launched the Goretti Group’s new prayer-raising, fundraising and team-building program called the Race for the Chaste. It raised over 100 prayers, $4000 for chastity, and created a support network among its participants. One supporting spectator shared their joy in receiving words of gratitude from unrelated Christian runners as they read “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” on the back of the Race for the Chasters’ T-shirts. A Race for the Chaste half-marathon runner, Bridge Frese said about her run: “Meeting that goal and crossing that finish line was truly a high point in my life. I know that it was not just the superb training, but the prayers and fellowship that carried me through.”

The phrase “Race for the Chaste” captures the urgency of sharing the message of chastity while imitating St. Paul who “competed well [and] finished the race” (2 Tim 4:7) out of love for Christ and others. The participants wear chastity promotional T-shirts while participating in a local public race as runners, walkers and supporting spectators. Race participants gain prayer and financial sponsorships and offer a physical sacrifice for their sponsor’s petitions. Coached by San Diego Track Club’s Paul Greer, this program is open to all and is a fun means to spread the message of chastity in a non-threatening way.

Dawn Suleski, one of the Race for the Chaste participants, sums up her experience like this:
"This weekend taught us what it is to be pure and chaste, and how to go out to explain ‘pure’ and ‘chaste’ to a world that sees it as being a restriction [to]…freedom….
There are a lot of people hurt … because of a step into a questionable situation that ended up making them tumble into impurity. For many of these people, they can’t see the hope of recovering, of finding themselves again or believing they are worth more…. A message from the Goretti Group, through Race for the Chaste, is that there is hope, hope to become whole again, hope for healing and belief that there is a second chance…”

Featured Speaker: VJ Brion

V.J. began speaking out as a survivor of sexual abuse for the Goretti Group in 2004, sharing her story of healing and the freedom she has received from consecrating herself to the Lord through the Sacraments, prayer and the Blessed Mother. God’s Mercy and incredible love continues to heal and convict V.J. of the message of purity…that it is for EVERYONE!

V.J. Brion grew up singing from the young age of 2 and has developed her gift of music over the years to pursue her Bachelor of Music degree in Commercial Music, Vocal Performance from the prestigious Lamont School of Music at the University of Denver in Colorado. V.J. has worked for several parishes in the Diocese of San Diego from leading music for liturgies to teaching music in 4 Catholic schools. She is a proud member and worship leader of City of the Lord, San Diego as well as Youth Coordinator and Youth Choir Director of Mission San Diego de Alcala.

V.J.’s personal compositions can be heard on My Space at: www.myspace.com/singofgrace

The Secret to Spiritual Success and Healing
by Peggy Tacchino

“Yet it was I who taught Ephraim to walk, who took them in my arms; I drew them with human cords, with bands of love; I fostered them like one who raises an infant to his cheeks; yet though I stooped to feed my child, they did not know that I was their healer.” Hosea 11:3-4

The Lord is our healer. And as, VJ Brion, a Goretti Group speaker and sexual abuse survivor testified at the Race for the Chaste on Saturday, August 15, amazing things happen when we open ourselves to receive the love and healing that God is dying to give us. VJ’s talk commenced an evening of spiritual nourishment for the Race for the Chaste participants, in which they received time for personal reflection, prayer, Adoration and the Sacrament of Reconciliation. VJ shared her story and the deep wounds and confusion that resulted in her heart as a result of sexual abuse. She also shared the great hope and healing she found in the Lord, particularly through the Sacraments of the Eucharist and Reconciliation. As VJ noted in her talk, she is not alone: 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have been sexually abused in some way during their lifetime. Yet, sexual abuse isn’t the only way we are wounded by unchastity; whether it is the trauma of sexual abuse, post-abortive depression, an eating disorder or simply low-self esteem and broken hearts from broken relationships each of us is in need of healing.

Why are we so wounded? Well, the media and the popular mentality about sex, relationships and love is the exact opposite of God’s plan for these things. And yet the voice that proclaims the lies clangs much louder than the gentle whisper of true love. We find ourselves bombarded with lies that equate love with lust, and tell us that our bodies are objects rather than sacred gifts. Because of these lies our understanding of the dignity and beauty of human beings has been gravely endangered and, often times, lost altogether. But, as VJ shared, there is hope to re-order our perspective to align with the Maker's and become whole again by His grace. Inspired by this powerful speaker, the Race for the Chaste participants were empowered to do just that. As they took the bold step of self-examination and prayed for their own healing, the evening that ensued was a powerful encounter with the God who “stoops to feed” His children.

As the Catholic Church believes, it is in the Blessed Sacrament that God most profoundly “stoops to feed” His children – their He offers the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of Jesus Christ, humbly hidden and always available to us in the small white host that we receive during Communion at Mass. According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, “At the heart of the Eucharistic celebration are the bread and wine that, by the words of Christ and the invocation of the Holy Spirit, become Christ's Body and Blood. …The signs of bread and wine become, in a way surpassing understanding, the Body and Blood of Christ…” (CCC 1333) By the power of God’s command (the same voice that spoke creation into existence) spoken through the priest’s words, Transubstantiation occurs and the bread and wine become the same Jesus who once said to his disciples: “Amen, amen I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you do not have life within you. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him on the last day. For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me and I in him.” (John 6: 53-56) And it is this Jesus, present in the Eucharist, who still asks His disciples to remain in His love.

It was that same Jesus, hidden in the host, who drew most participants during the night to approach Him, like the woman who suffered greatly from hemorrhages and said to herself “if I but touch his clothes, I shall be cured.” (Mk 5:28) As they fell before him, touching the monstrance that held his Sacred Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity, the Race for the Chaste participants experienced His love and received great healing in their hearts. It is this same Jesus that waits to give Himself to us completely as often as we will go to Mass and receive Him. And participating in the Mass and visiting Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament was VJ’s recommendation for healing—in her life it was the key that opened the door to total transformation and great peace and wholeness.

VJ also spoke of the great and powerful grace she received in the Confessional. There she met Jesus in the priest who forgave her sins, and gave her a new heart. It is Jesus, our God, who has the power to heal and restore, for it was about him that it was prophesied by Isaiah: “He has sent me to bring glad tidings to the lowly, to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and release to the prisoners…” (Isaiah 61: 1) Jesus waits, not only in the Eucharist but in the Sacrament of Reconciliation to free and make hearts, once broken by sin, whole again.

The Sacraments of the Eucharist and Reconciliation are powerhouses of grace, and these gifts are available to us every day, to lift us up into that fullness of joy, peace and hope that Jesus came to give us. It is this message of hope and healing that the Goretti Group brought to the Race for the Chaste participants in order that they can deliver the message to all those they touch. It is this message that we pray you too will hear and find everlasting joy in purity.

For more information about the Sacrament of the Eucharist and what Catholics believe about the The Real Presence, check out these great articles:

Ecclessia de Eucharistia
Christ in the Eucharist


To get a better understanding of the Sacrament of Confession check out these articles.
The Forgiveness of Sins
Can God Forgive You if You've Had Pre-Marital Sex?
Confession and the Early Church
God is too Hot to Handle

If you would like a free documentary, which draws on people’s personal testimonies about these sacraments to invite its viewers into a dynamic relationship with Christ and His Church through the Eucharist and Reconciliation please email peggytacchino@gmail.com for a free copy of “Daily Bread” (Eucharist documentary) or “Come as You Are” (Reconciliation documentary)


Turning Your Lifelong Regrets into Immeasurable Graces

by Jim Benefield, LMFT

Originally published in CEDARS OF LEBANON, Newsletter of the John Paul II Institute of Christian Spirituality. June 2001 Reprinted with permission from Dr. Jim Benefield

Nowadays, courses on 'Human Development' teach that we have the ability to remember past experiences in minute detail. We now know that our ability to store memories begins during the first nine months of life. In his book Babies Remember Birth, David Chamberlain, Ph.D. shows that newborns remember the events of their gestation, and that it is even possible for adults to recall the events surrounding their gestation and birth. Whenever memories of experiences like these are stimulated, a flood of feelings can be released. Many of these memories and associated feelings are painful. The memory of painful experiences in turn often lead to regret – a feeling of permanent loss occasioned by the memory of some painful event.

Without the miraculous gift of bi-location, that God gives to saints like Padre Pio or Venerable Mary of Agreda, we cannot be in two places at the same time. Nor can we be “at two times in the same space.” In our ordinary human condition, we move forward in time in a linear and progressive way. Consequently, we cannot recreate one second in time nor erase a single unpleasant experience. We own each past moment of our lives, whether we like it or not – whether those past moments were shaped by our own actions or by the actions of others. We have no more control over the past than we have over the color of our skin, the identity of our parents, the affluence of our families, or what happened to us during most of our early years.

The Regions of Regret

Some have said "I was in the wrong place at the wrong time", or, "I wish that I was born at a different time” but the bare fact remains. What has been done cannot be physically undone. Once an act is realized, that act remains a part of real-time history, never to be erased. In the progressive momentum of time, one's circumstances may change for the better or worse according to one’s opportunities. And even though some original acts that can be rectified by succeeding opportunities, other regrettable acts leave a lasting legacy of shame, self hatred, anger and depression.

These are the regions of regret. "If only I had a second chance", "I wish I could take everything back that I said", "I'm so sorry that I had the abortion; hit my wife; sexually abused my child; have to go to jail because I burglarized a car; ever used drugs; punched my mom; received a sexually transmitted disease because of promiscuous sex at such an early age.” Often times the consequences of an act can follow throughout one's life without relief from emotional pain because one cannot undo what has been done within the limits of linear time and physical distance.

When people lose their ability to focus on the present with hope for the future because of the traumas and failures of the past, they easily become prey to depression and despair. In their self-absorption, hopeless people cannot see God and what He might be doing through the events that they regret. Their anger and even hatred towards others hold them back from looking into the merciful eyes of God.

Thankfully, Jesus is not bound by linear time or physical distance: “Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever.” By his divine-human power, Jesus has borne all of our sorrows. By his divine-human power, Jesus has perfectly atoned for each and every one of our sins. Moreover, Jesus has prepared a perfect life for each of us. As St. Paul wrote in his letter to the Ephesians, “We are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus for good works that He has prepared for us beforehand that we should walk in them” (Ephesians 2:10). Jesus has gone before us to offer the Father all of our sins, washed in his Precious Blood. For this present moment, and for each future present moment of our lives, Jesus has prepared a perfect act of love for us to do together with Him, for the glory of the Father, and for the good of all souls, past, present, and future. Making friends with past losses and regrets by purposefully giving them back to God with Jesus and placing them in his providential hands opens the way to total freedom from the bondage of living in regrets.

A Spiritual Exercise To Attain Freedom from Past Regrets

In the course of my practice, I have discovered a spiritual exercise that can help to bring about this liberation from past regrets. In this article, I will describe this exercise as a testimony to the infinite mercy of Jesus Christ whose redeeming love embraces the past, the present, and the future. If you wish to perform this exercise, you will need to set several hours aside to do so slowly and prayerfully. If you prefer simply to read the exercise, you may. However, all of us, if we search deeply, will find multiple regrets: wishing that we had done this or not done that, sorrowful over what we should have done or didn’t do. Freedom from regret can be achieved by submitting one’s entire past to the Precious Blood of Jesus. This exercise is not the only way to do so, but it is an effective way.

Face Your Regrets

The first step to freedom from past regrets is to describe them in detail. Explain what you regret having lost in terms of past, present, and future opportunities. For example, “My life would have been so much better if I had not been adopted out into this dysfunctional family,” or “If I had worked harder at my grades, I would have been able to go to the school of my choice.” Express your anger at yourself and at others. When you have finished expressing your anger, imagine yourself wrapping your regrets into “a package.” Then visualize yourself going into the Garden of Gethsemene and presenting your package of regrets to Jesus in his agony.

As you present this package of regrets to Jesus, He invites you to kneel down with Him and you hear Him say, “I will make something good of this.” And then you see Jesus do a very strange thing: He takes your package of regrets, and as he places them together with the multitude of regrets already before him in the garden, He pulls you close to Himself and begins to sob uncontrollably. As He sobs, you hear Him pray to His Heavenly Father. He see that these regrets have seriously impeded a healthy trustful relationship between you and your Heavenly Father. His prayer to his Father is filled with compassion on your behalf.

You lean close to hear Him pray: “My dear Father, I know that you will refuse Me nothing. I bring you this child whose heartaches and disappointments have interfered with his ability to love and trust You. Father, he is your child, and I ask that You not hold this against him. He has been blinded by so much sorrow that all he sees is himself and his regrets. He doesn’t see Us and our love for him. Heal the anger in his soul, and by your grace do not let him be dominated by self-loathing, resentments, hostility and unforgiveness towards himself and others.

“Oh merciful and forgiving Father, touch him with the fire of your forgiveness and plunge this fire into the deepest recesses of his being, so that he is moved also to seek out forgiveness from You for those that have harmed him. Remove this bondage of hate and let him no longer be ruled by it. Remove the dismal outlook that he has for his future and fill him with hope and knowledge of Our love for him. Give him all that he needs so that he can receive forgiveness for himself and hold on to Your forgiveness as his most precious gift from You.

“By the power that I have in You, I hereby declare this soul free from the destructive effects of the regrets of his past that he has not been able to let go. I declare him free from the harm that he has done to himself and others, and from the harm that others have done to him. Let healing flow into those who have been wounded by his actions and omissions, and when the time is right let there be reconciliation between them.

“Place your hands over his heart and seal it with a confident faith in your providential care for him. Let him see the regrets that he has clung to so tenaciously as ‘your branding mark’ that will forever bind him to your love for all to see. As surely as the cattleman brands his steer for all to know its ownership, so let it be with him. Even as You have used my wounds of the crucifixion to draw mankind back to You, so let his wounds be joined with Mine, co-mingled with my suffering for the expiation of sin and the conversion of souls. Even as none of my suffering was wasted, do not let one morsel of his suffering go unused for your divine purpose.”

As Jesus prays, you notice that your package of anger and regrets is saturated with his tears and by droplets of the blood from the ‘sweat’ of his brow. Jesus hold on to you even more tightly and concludes, “I thank you for receiving and honoring this prayer on ‘John’s behalf’ even as you receive and honor me.”

The Challenge of the Cross

And now, Jesus looks at you, his eyes burning with love. Those compassionate eyes plead with you to accept forgiveness from the Heavenly Father. And, as the fire of his love penetrates your very soul, you become aware of an eternal request that only you can answer. “Will you accept your regrets as a cross that only you can carry – for the expiation of sin and for the conversion of souls – so that by your intention you can join with Me to help make reparation to the Father and to love Him on behalf of all”?

At this moment you have a choice: “Will you choose to resent these painful experiences, which means fighting against grace and mercy and staying in guilt, grief and despair? Or, will you choose to live with these regrets, which may represent sadness and permanent losses, as your gift to the Trinitarian lover, with the intention of standing in prayer for many?”

Through the example of heroic men and women in the scriptures and throughout history, you know that many have been blessed and saved because of the actions of the few. You instinctively know what your choice at this moment is critical. You hear yourself saying, “I will let this be my cross, and I am resolved to pick up my cross daily and follow you as your disciple. (Let yourself feel the relief that comes with making that choice in faith, and let the power of the Trinitarian Godhead rush through you!)

Now Jesus wants to invite you to join with Him in prayer as He prays for so many who are being held in bondage by their inability to let go of their painful past. You hear yourself say, “I thank you for all this forgiveness that You pour out upon me and upon all souls as freely as torrential waters that fall from the sky and soak the earth. I humbly receive all that You have for me.” And then the strangest sentences come out of your mouth: “This is too much of a gift for me to keep to myself. I implore you, Lord, to let me go with You into every heart that is in need of your forgiveness so that I can speak to them of your abundant love. Let me plead to the Father with You on behalf of all those who need to forgive others and who need to let go of their painful regrets. Let us go quickly so that souls can be reconciled with You and avoid falling deeper into the depths of despair.”

To your surprise, you find yourself filled with compassion for souls who have been in your situation, and in that compassion you feel an urgency to pray for them. You turn to Jesus who is suffering so much over these regrets because they represent a multitude of souls of the whole human family. It seems as if time has stood still as you see Jesus take each bundle of regrets and clutch them to Himself while interceding on each one’s behalf. You see that there are many souls who cannot accept his love and mercy, who will choose to stay in their unforgiveness, regret and despair. And you see that this causes Jesus infinitely more pain and makes Him sweat even more blood.

Throughout your Christian Life, you have asked Jesus to compassionate you for what you have gone through. Now, you find yourself compassionating Jesus for what He has suffered on our behalf. Only love could do this. In your compassion for Jesus, you express your sincere sorrow for ever having doubted Him. You want to apologize to Jesus on behalf of the whole human family, from the first man to the last, for all the times we have not trusted in Him to help us in our moments of crisis. (It was in those times that we trusted more in ourselves and in others. Oh Jesus, forgive our foolishness!) As you continue to compassionate Jesus in all that He suffers, you notice that He is looking somewhat more refreshed. His glance tells you that He is most pleased to have found someone who is willing to spend time consoling Him as He suffers – as He makes reparation to the Father for all the wrongs that have been committed against Him. He sees that you are someone who makes reparation to the Father for all the wrongs that have been committed against Him – someone who will also make reparation to the Heavenly Father for offences committed against Him.

Your words to Jesus as you prepare yourself to leave are filled with gratitude for having freed you from the bondage of regrets.

The Principle of Forgiveness

The principle of forgiveness in cyclical: God wants to forgive, and his infinite mercy flows to us through his son Jesus. Indeed, He wants us to desire His forgiveness. But to desire is not enough. He wants us to accept His love and forgiveness and to forgive all those who have harmed us. But even this is not enough. He also wants us to compassionate Jesus in the sufferings He endured on our behalf so that we will be set free from self-centeredness. Then He wants us to go and spread the message of forgiveness wherever we can. And finally, to complete the cyclical process, He wants us to come before Jesus and then to Him for his merciful love and forgiveness, for ourselves and for the whole human family.

In my experience, it is gratitude to the Trinity that insures permanent healing. Without continuous gratitude, chances are that that the doors of depression and despair will reopen. On the other hand, when one shoulders his burden of past sins and traumas—in union with the sufferings of Christ for the salvation of souls—the Holy Trinity turns the natural consequences of those regrettable acts into a supernatural source of grace. Through our union with the divine-human life of Jesus, this grace benefits not only the one making the sacrifice, but all souls, past, present, and future.

Jim Benefield LMFT 4551 Moraga Ave. San Diego, CA. 92117 jimbenefield@juno.com

Goretti Group Gazette June 2009

We are dedicating this issue of the Goretti Group Gazette to a subject that scars more lives than we can guess. According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, “[Pornography] does grave injury to the dignity of its participants (actors, vendors, the public), since each one becomes an object of base pleasure and illicit profit for others…It is a grave offense.” (CCC 2354) This serious injury to the dignity of all involved in viewing/reading/watching/creating pornography is an injury the Goretti Group meets face to face as often as we look into the eyes of our audiences. When we enter a school, youth or young adult group or even a parent talk, the statistics tell us (as well as some courageous souls who talk to us afterward) that we are speaking with many who did not hear the message of God’s plan for pure love in time to save them from exposure and even addiction to pornography. While this problem is pervasive and oppressive, there is hope. As we tell those in our audiences, our Lord is far more powerful, loving and merciful than the potency, un-love and merciless chains of pornography. He can, He has and He will continue to free many, who, like the prodigal son, have taken and squandered the Father’s inheritance, exchanging the beautiful gift of their sexuality for a dark, and twisted lie. In fact, Jesus will free all who sincerely persevere in asking Him to do so (it’s what He promised when He said: “Whatever you ask the Father in my name, He will give you.” (John 16:23))

Though sexual addiction may seem impossible to overcome the Lord assures us, as He assured Mary through the Angel Gabriel, that “nothing will be impossible for God.” (Luke 1:37) Whether you or someone you love struggles with pornography or any other sin against purity, there are plenty of practical ways to be transformed by Christ. First, pray. As mentioned above, those who ask for help, receive it, those who seek strength, find it, and to those who knock on Heaven’s door, it will be opened (based on Matthew 7:7). Do not be afraid to talk openly and freely with our Lord about your struggles and beg Him for His help. Jesus never sinned, but He was tempted by the devil in every way. In the fullness of His humanity, Jesus understands how difficult temptation can be, but, in the fullness of His divinity He tells us: “In this world you will have trouble, but take courage, I have conquered the world.” (John 16:33)

Just as Jesus bore the wretchedness of the world’s sin on the cross at Calvary, and Resurrected it to the most glorious thing of all—eternal life-- so too He can take the things that are most dead in us, the things of which we are most ashamed, and turn them into a glorious story of triumph. And the best place to do this? The Confessional. The Sacrament of Reconciliation is Jesus’ gift to the Church to know and appropriate His mercy in a powerful and necessary way. Do not be afraid; the priest has heard whatever you have to say thousands of times over and he is there to stand in the person of Christ and cover you with God’s mercy and love. Confession is the first step to be able to receive the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of Jesus in the Eucharist, which is the next step to freedom. Frequent Mass and Reconciliation are extremely powerful tools in the arsenal of God’s soldiers to win this battle with lust and death and find the victory of love and life.

Another powerful step toward freedom is that of finding and surrounding yourself with others who want to follow God and live purity. Share with them your struggles, and help each other with prayer and accountability. And, just as you share with and ask prayers from your friends on earth, don’t forget the powerful intercession of your friends in Heaven. St. Augustine is among many of the Church’s great saints who has “been there and done that.” He knows what it’s like to struggle with sins of impurity and he knows what it’s like to allow Jesus Christ to conquer those sins and transform his heart. And, of course, there is Mary, Jesus’ most pure mother, whom He gave to us as our mother, while hanging on the cross. Mary is our spiritual mother and we are close to her heart and her prayers are ever close to Jesus’ heart.

It is our prayer at the Goretti Group that through the intercession of all the angels and saints and in the powerful name of Jesus, all people will be freed and healed from all sexual sin and addiction in order to live the joy of purity. We pray that the articles in this issue as well as all of our events will aid many in their journey toward chastity and true love. Thank you to those who are praying with us, sponsoring us financially, and volunteering for us—yours are the hands and feet that are making this mission possible. May God bless you abundantly!

In Christ,

Peggy Tacchino
Special Projects Coordinator


Cleaning Up The Internet

Concern Over Harmful Effects of Pornography

By Father John Flynn, LC

ROME, JAN. 18, 2009 (Zenit.org).- Governments in a number of countries are raising concerns over the way in which the Internet is allowing unlimited access to all sorts of pornography.

China recently warned a number of online portals and search engines that are making it easy for Internet users to come into contact with porn, CNN reported Jan. 6.

CNN revealed that the move comes as several Chinese government agencies, including the Ministry of Public Security, launched a month-long campaign to clean up the Web.

Last year Indonesia announced it would block access to pornographic Web sites after the government passed legislation that criminalized producing and accessing immoral content on the Internet, reported the Financial Times, March 26.

In Australia, the federal government is studying the possibility of introducing a nationwide Internet filter, but the proposal is being strongly criticized by free speech advocates, the Associated Press reported Dec. 26. There are also doubts over the technical possibilities of putting into place such a filter.

Federal communications minister Stephen Conroy proposed the filter last year, in fulfillment of a campaign promise made by the Labor Party government to make the Internet cleaner and safer.

In Canada a local magazine, Macleans, put the problem of pornography and the Internet on its front cover in the June 18 issue last year. The accompanying editorial noted the incongruence of having ratings systems to protect children and teens from violent or pornographic content in cinemas and for the sale of DVDs, and also for television broadcasters, but no controls over Internet content.

An idea of the pervasive presence of pornography on the Internet was given during the annual "White Ribbon Against Pornography Week," which ran from Oct. 26 to Nov. 2.

In an Oct. 26 article on the Christian Post Web site, Dr. Janice Shaw Crouse, director of Concerned Women for American, noted that over 15,000 new adult movie titles are released every year.

She also said that recent figures reveal 35 million visits to porn sites from American computers every month. Crouse cited a 2007 study by the University of New Hampshire, showing that 42% of Internet users, aged 10 to 17, said they had seen online pornography within a one-year period.

A big deal?

Many, however, deny that viewing pornography has any harmful effects. A convincing reply to such views came in the form of a book published last year by Jill C. Manning, a licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in the area of pornography and sexual behavior.

In her book, “What’s the Big Deal about Pornography?: A Guide for the Internet Generation,” (Shadow Mountain) Manning sets out a detailed explanation of how using porn damages adolescents, along with advice on how to overcome the addictive nature of such habits.

Pornography is certainly nothing new, Manning readily admitted, but there are some new elements that make its presence particularly harmful in recent times. Not only is porn being increasingly glamorized and accepted as a part of popular culture, but in addition the Internet has made it readily available as never before.

Before the Internet came along normally pornography was not available at home or in the workplace unless someone chose to bring it along. Nowadays, it can enter wherever there is an Internet connection. As well, it is available at little cost and can be accessed with anonymity.

Moreover, she added, a great deal of the pornography being distributed today is disturbingly sinister, violent, and degrading.

Damage

Manning described a number of ways in which pornography damages people:

-- It is something that is potentially addictive. As such it can hinder a person’s ability to make clear choices;

-- It can powerfully distort a person’s outlook on bodies, relationships, and sexuality;

-- It leads people to objectify others, viewing them as sex toys that exist only for our own gratification;

-- Due to its distorting influence it undermines opportunities for young people to be self-confident, happy, and to create enduring relationships in the future.

“It thereby affects their ability to see life in truthful, helpful, and wholesome ways,” she concluded.

Manning lamented that many young people are not taught enough about what makes relationships or marriages work as it makes them less attentive to how using porn will damage their ability to interact with others.

Citing the results of various studies into the effects of regular pornography consumption Manning pointed out a number of the harmful side-effects:

-- Decreased sensitivity to women, showing more aggression, rudeness and less respect;

-- Decreased desire to have children and raise a family;

-- Increased risk of experiencing difficulties in intimate relationships;

-- Increased risk of becoming sexually abusive toward others;

-- Increased risk of being exposed to incorrect information about human sexuality;

-- Increased risk of becoming sexually dissatisfied with your future spouse;
-- Increased risk for divorce once you are married.

Manning also slammed as one of the “biggest lies that pornography sells,” the argument that viewing it will help young people understand sexuality and become more confident.

In fact, she continued, porn users tend to have more insecurities around members of the opposite sex and more difficulty in developing close relationships.

“Every person I have worked with who has been involved with pornography has had less understanding about relationships and sexuality than those who were not looking at pornography,” Manning stated.

Sinister connections

Another book, published in 2007 by the California-based anti-trafficking nongovernmental organization Captive Daughters, widens the debate over pornography and highlights the social damage created. In the collected essays of “Pornography: Driving the Demand in International Sex Trafficking,” a number of the authors related how the spread of pornography is linked to trafficking in women and children and prostitution.

Catharine MacKinnon, the Elizabeth A. Long Professor of Law at the University of Michigan Law School, argued that pornography is just another way in which women and children are trafficked for sex.

Consuming pornography is an experience of bought sex, of sexually using another person as an object that has been purchases, and in this sense is very similar to prostitution, according to MacKinnon.

Moreover, in common with prostitution, many of those who are portrayed in porn films are not there by choice, but because of a lack of choices, she argued. As with many prostitutes they consent to these acts due to a variety of factors, including sexual abuse, drug problems, or economic need.

Another of the contributors to the volume, Melissa Farley, described pornography as cultural propaganda that drives home the notion that all women are prostitutes. Farley, a clinical psychologist, is director of the San Francisco-based nongovernmental organization Prostitution Research and Education.

The Internet, she said, has created and expanded opportunities for men to sexually exploit women.

Farley also pointed out that interviews with women who were prostitutes revealed that many of them said that pornography was made of them while they were engaged in acts of prostitution.

Pornography, the Catechism of the Catholic Church, not only offends against chastity, but also: “It does grave injury to the dignity of its participants (actors, vendors, the public), since each one becomes an object of base pleasure and illicit profit for others” (No. 2354).

As well, the Catechism observes that: “It immerses all who are involved in the illusion of a fantasy world.” A fantasy world that has, nevertheless, very real damaging effects, both for individuals and society.

© Innovative Media, Inc.

Reprinted with permission from www.zenit.org


Rosary vs. Pornography

Posted by Tom Hoopes
(http://www.ncregister.com/daily/16407/)

Saturday, November 01, 2008 11:08 AM

“The Rosary is excruciating. There I said it.” Thus begins Brian Pessaro’s “My Struggle With the Rosary” at Godspy.

“I wouldn’t be where I am today had it not been for Mary’s intercession,” he writes. “Since the age of 11, I was addicted to pornography. It began simple enough with sneaking peaks at my best friend’s father’s Playboys in the basement of his house. But by the time I was 25, I was so hooked on Internet porn that I would itch for my wife to leave the apartment so I could secretly jump online. Several times over the years I tried to quit. Each time, not only did I fail, but the addiction got worse to the point where I gave up resisting.”

Then, while looking at a book about apparitions, he had an experience of Mary. Pessaro gives a striking account of why he prays the daily Rosary at all.

He said his earthly mother rarely scolded him. His Heavenly mother suddenly did: “I felt her say to me sternly, ‘Brian you’ve got to stop looking at that garbage. Starting now!’”

That night he went online and in the dresser drawer for entirely new reasons: He ordered a Scapular and pulled out his grandmother’s rosary beads.

Not only did he kick the habit, he says but also “when I was in my late twenties I could still see those images from when I was eleven as if it were yesterday,” he says, “And now they’re gone.”

He admirably calls everyone to pray the Rosary daily, just like he does. Even if it’s tough.

What we would say to him is: It doesn’t have to be quite so tough. In 2004, we dedicated an issue of the Register to the Rosary and for each mystery offered 10 points of meditation, artwork, additional prayers, and scripture.

The Rosary issue was a huge hit.

“It is the best resource I have found so far,” wrote one woman, a teacher. “Would you please tell me how I can obtain 20 copies?” We did.

“I am a Protestant who is journeying toward the Catholic faith,” wrote another. “The rosary was always a mystery to me. Your rosary issue has been such a blessing. Have you thought of providing your guide in a booklet form?” We did that, too.

We created a booklet version of our Rosary Guide, and, with the help of CatholicMil.org, “Thousands of copies of the Guide were mailed to Catholic troops overseas,” wrote Archbishop Edwin O’Brien, who was then the Military Archbishop. “Demand was so great, that our supply was soon exhausted.”

The supply is no longer exhausted. To get your copy, click here.
http://circlepress.org/shop/index.php?p=product&id=2&parent=7

To preview the content (without the beautiful artwork) look here.
http://www.ncregister.com/site/article/4257

I’ll ask Circle Press on Monday if Brian Pessaro’s order has been processed yet.

— Tom Hoopes
Reprinted with permission from NCRegister.com
For original article see: http://www.ncregister.com/daily/16407/

The Prayers that Freed One Man from Addiction:
St. Maria Goretti's Story

St. Maria Goretti, the patron saint and namesake of The Goretti Group was killed by one man’s addiction to pornography. In 1902, when Maria was only 11 years old, Alessandro Serenelli, a young man who was addicted to pornography lost further control of his lust and stabbed Maria 14 times when she refused his sexual advances. Maria, who did not die before forgiving Alessandro and telling the priest that she wanted him in Heaven with her, got her wish. Alessandro was converted, and his life completely transformed after Maria appeared to him in prison. St. Maria Goretti’s prayers were powerful enough to convert and transform the man who murdered her because the grave sin of pornography had seriously injured and deluded his soul…her prayers will most certainly storm the heavens for all others who invoke her intercession today.

Alessandro’s conversion speaks to the power of forgiveness, prayer and the love of God. Read here Alessandro’s own words about how a man like himself, once blinded by lust, was redeemed by God’s grace.

"I'm nearly 80 years old. I'm about to depart. Looking back at my past, I can see that in my early youth, I chose a bad path which led me to ruin myself. My behavior was influenced by print, mass-media and bad examples which are followed by the majority of young people without even thinking. And I did the same. I was not worried.

There were a lot of generous and devoted people who surrounded me, but I paid no attention to them because a violent force blinded me and pushed me toward a wrong way of life. When I was 20 years-old, I committed a crime of passion. Now, that memory represents something horrible for me. Maria Goretti, now a Saint, was my good Angel, sent to me through Providence to guide and save me. I still have impressed upon my heart her words of rebuke and of pardon. She prayed for me, she interceded for her murderer. Thirty years of prison followed. If I had been of age, I would have spent all my life in prison. I accepted to be condemned because it was my own fault.

Little Maria was really my light, my protectress; with her help, I behaved well during the 27 years of prison and tried to live honestly when I was again accepted among the members of society. The Brothers of St. Francis, Capuchins from Marche, welcomed me with angelic charity into their monastery as a brother, not as a servant. I've been living with their community for 24 years, and now I am serenely waiting to witness the vision of God, to hug my loved ones again, and to be next to my Guardian Angel and her dear mother, Assunta.

I hope this letter that I wrote can teach others the happy lesson of avoiding evil and of always following the right path, like little children. I feel that religion with its precepts is not something we can live without, but rather it is the real comfort, the real strength in life and the only safe way in every circumstance, even the most painful ones of life."
Signature,
Alessandro Serenelli
(Alessandro's letter is quoted on http://www.mariagoretti.org/alessandrobio.htm)


Featured Speaker: Kara Klein

A prolific songwriter, Kara has written over 200 original Christian hymns, 10 of which are featured on her debut album A Touch of Your Grace, released August 20, 2004.

In March, 2005, Kara released “Beautiful Still—Terri’s Song”, a single dedicated to Terri Schindler-Schiavo and her family. The song was featured on worldwide television on EWTN’s Life on the Rock, the night of Terri’s death. In November 2005 Kara sang at the annual UCMVA Unity Awards in Minneapolis and has performed the song in many venues throughout the nation since then. On October 2, 2007, Kara sang Beautiful Still at the annual National Right to Life Convention in Washington DC, where the Schindler family was honored for their work promoting the pro-life cause.

Kara released “I Am Home” in late October 2006. The CD’s title song, dedicated to Katrina victims living in the New Orleans area, won a Unity Award at the 2007 Annual UCMVA Awards ceremonies for “Best Pop/Contemporary Song of the Year” and the video version won a Unity Award for the “Best Video/DVD of the Year”.

In 2007, Kara appeared as a featured artist on EWTN’s Backstage series and EWTN's The Knights of St. Michael television series, which debuted in 2008.

In November, 2007, Kara released two additional albums: “The Gift of Christmas” and a devotional CD entitled “Enduring Love – A Rosary for Chastity”. The CD “The Gift of Christmas” received a 2007 Unity Awards for “Seasonal Album of the Year”. Kara sang selected songs from her Christmas CD on December 23, 2007 at “Merry Christmas New York City”, a Christmas benefit concert at Carnegie Hall alongside internationally renowned Irish tenor Mark Forrest and other noted Catholic artists.

Kara’s other experiences have included traveling to Cologne, Germany in 2005 for World Youth Day with Pope Benedict XVI, where she performed as a featured singer. During her time in Europe she filmed two music videos in Rome. She has also traveled nationally and internationally on music missions, where she has sung and spoken in various churches, schools, prisons and drug-rehab centers. On April 27, 2005, Kara was a featured speaker at the Susan B. Anthony List’s Real Women’s Voices press conference in Washington, D.C., where she sang Beautiful Still and spoke about bringing an end to abortion. Additionally, Kara has traveled throughout the United States giving chastity talks.

Help Heal Hearts and Change Lives: Support the Goretti Group!St. Mark's girls giving roses to Mary

Pornography is just one among many bullets firing at young people's hearts today. Everywhere they turn teens are bombarded by flashy messages that glorify pre-marital sexual activity. Many are buying the lies of lust because they have not heard the message of the true, pure love that their hearts long for. The message of chastity must be delivered in a relatable, effective way that will pierce the cloud of confusion hanging over our culture with the light and love of Christ. And this message must be delivered NOW!

The Goretti Group is a 501(c)3 non-profit, charitable organization. We are only able to operate by the generosity of our supporters, and we are in great need. The Lord is calling us to grow our outreach, in order to share the the joy of purity with exponentially greater numbers of people across the nation through our Chariots of Fire Chastity Missionary Program. The missionaries will be formed in a deep prayer life, trained to share about chastity, and sent out to deliver powerful retreats. In order to get this program up and running--we need your support!

Your Monthly Contribution will allow More young people to hear the truth and come away Transformed. Just take a look at the way the Goretti Group has touched lives thus far and think about these responses increasing exponentially and reverberating in Heaven!

"It has been a wonderful experience...I think, actually I will make a change in my life for the better after this retreat. I will never forget we are princesses of God and we are beautiful. Thank you for letting me have this opportunity to build a stronger relationship with God." ~Sarah, San Marcos, CA

"To tell you the truth, I thought it was going to be boring, but all you greatly proved me wrong. It got me in touch with my spirituality, something I have not done in a long time...It is good to hear positive things about virginity from so many people besides my parents..." ~ Meg, San Marcos, CA

Donations may be made at www.thegorettigroup.org (click donate at the upper right) or send checks to The Goretti Group, Inc. 1629 Columbia Street, San Diego, CA 92101

Goretti Group Gazette March 12, 2009

Greetings friends! We hope your year is off to a great start. I spent some time traveling on a speaking tour in January and in February. It is always a wonderful opportunity to meet the many souls who are so in need of our prayers and our ministry. We shared the joy of purity with over 1200 youth, young adults and parents on the East Coast and assisted one of our Speaker Duos with a speaking engagement in Fresno, CA.

There are oftentimes bright eyes & big smiles following a presentation, but there are also a few faces that reflect the deep wounds of sexual sin. One young woman in particular approached me in tears after a recent talk I delivered. She expressed her struggle in trying to live the virtue of chastity. She and her boyfriend dated throughout high school and were able to remain chaste. When they left for college however, temptation won over and they began to sleep together. During this time, she became pregnant and they decided to raise the child together.

To their surprise however, they found that the child was not “theirs”, but only “hers & someone else’s.” She was baffled because she hadn’t been with anyone else. She now believes that an acquaintance had slipped a date drug into her drink and that she had conceived her child through rape. She shared that because she and her boyfriend had sex, their trust was broken and he did not believe what had happened to her. She remains heart-broken and is having a hard time forgiving her aggressor. Her pregnancy, she says, is the best thing that has ever happened to her, because it brought her out of a destructive lifestyle.

These tears, this story, and this beautiful young woman is the reason we continue to do what we do, as we invite others to join in sharing the joy of purity. Please pray for this young woman, and for the many others in need of healing and strength following a struggle to live chastely. Thanks to those of you who generously donate your time and talent to join us in this mission. It takes a team.

On another note, I mentioned last month that we intend to pay special attention to a particular subject in each of our e-newsletter issues this year. As we leave February behind, and enter into the Lenten Season, we emphasize special contemplation on the meaning of love. This issue focuses on the central role of the family -- the school of love. You will also find thoughts on a typical question concerning love, featured speakers who teach that chastity = love, and an introduction to the Chariots of Fire Chastity Missionary Program, which spreads the fire of pure love which glows from the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Enjoy!
-Angela

The Family's Essential Role
Church, Society Upholding the Rights of Marriage
By Father John Flynn, LC

ROME, FEB. 8, 2009 (Zenit.org).- As the status of the family and marriage continue to be at the forefront of many public debates, the social cost of marriage breakdowns isn't far behind.

A recent study in England found that divorce results in a significant economic benefit for men, but penalizes women, reported the Observer newspaper Jan. 25. According to a study carried out by Stephen Jenkins, a director of the Institute for Social and Economic Research and chair of the Council of the International Association for Research on Income and Wealth, when a marriage splits up, the father's disposable income increases by around one-third.

By contrast, and regardless of whether or not there are children, the average post-divorce income for women falls by more than a fifth, and is adversely affected for a number of years.

According to the report by the Observer the survey carried out by Jenkins is the first long-term study of income and marriage breakdowns.

Jenkins found that the poverty rate among divorced women is 27%, almost three times higher compared to their former spouses.

Economic penalties are not the only disadvantages associated with divorce. An Australian study published last year found that the emotional and social impact of divorce makes itself felt for decades afterwards, reported the Sydney Morning Herald newspaper July 10.

A research team headed by David de Vaus, of La Trobe University in Melbourne, presented the conclusions of a study at a conference of the Australian Institute of Family Studies. They compared the well-being of about 2,200 Australians aged 55 to 74.

Those divorced not only suffered trauma in the initial years following the end of their marriage, but they were also more likely to feel they lacked someone to confide in, and they were less satisfied with their home and health.

Vital

Benedict XVI recently affirmed the importance of the family for society in his message sent to the participants in the recitation of the rosary during the 6th World Day of Families meeting held in Mexico City.

During his video message on Jan. 17 the Pontiff said the family is a "vital cell of society."

"Because of its essential role in society, the family has a right to have its proper identity recognized that is not to be confused with other forms of coexistence," the Pope explained.

As a result Benedict XVI asked that the family based on the marriage of a man and a woman receive a sufficient level of legal, financial and social support.

The social importance of family life is not just something affirmed by the Church. Jennifer Roback Morse, a former research fellow at Stanford University's Hoover Institution, and currently a research fellow at the Acton Institute for the Study of Religion and Liberty, recently published a second edition of her book "Love and Economics" (Ruth Institute Books).

One of the books sections is entitled, "Why There is No Substitute for the Family." The family is irreplaceable not only in the sense that the two parents of a child play a unique role in its life, but also because the very institution of the family has no effective substitute.

Morse affirmed that the primary role of the family is relational. Clearly, some families carry out this task better than others, but no other institution does this better than the family, she argued.

Not optional

The fact that some families fail should not lead us to the conclusion that the family as an institution is merely optional, according to Morse.

"If we can hold the family together at the individual and personal level, we would have less need for grand schemes to replace the family at a societal level," Morse affirmed.

Morse summarized the findings of a number of studies that document the adverse results of children brought up in single-parent families: poverty; lower educational results; and behavioral problems.

The task of raising children is simply too much for a single parent, said Morse. Moreover, other possible variations, such as cohabitation and stepfathers do not provide the same advantages as a family based on the two biological parents of the children.

The role of a father is more than just economic, Morse continued. His contribution to the moral development of children is something that society is guilty of largely ignoring, she accused.

"The real question is not whether men and women are different but how the difference allows each to contribute something unique to the moral development of children," said Morse.

Commenting on the sweeping changes in moral norms and sexual habits in the last few decades, Morse noted that the changes unleashed in the 60s and 70s promised happiness and fulfillment through unlimited freedom. With the experience of hindsight Morse said that we can now conclude that the ability to sustain commitments is a gift that will bring deeper happiness and satisfaction.

"A great many adults are now ready to relearn whatever they can about lifelong marriage, for their own benefit as well as for the benefit of their children," she concluded.

Freedom has its limits, Morse argued in the concluding chapter of the book. Every generation is not free to redefine the family and its obligations. Some virtues and obligations are indispensable, said Morse.

Foundation

A similar view was expressed by Cardinal Seán Brady, archbishop of Armagh and primate of All Ireland, during his address last year to the Céifin Conference Nov. 4.

The theme of his speech was, "The Family as the Foundation of Society." The family based on marriage as the foundation of society is a truth revealed by God in the Scriptures, said Cardinal Brady, but it also one of the most precious human values, he added.

The welfare of marriage and the family are of public interest, the cardinal argued, and are fundamental to the common good. They are, therefore, entitled to special consideration and care from the state.

"Other relationships whether they are sexual or not, are the result of private interest," he explained. "They do not have the same fundamental relationship to the good of society and to the bringing up of children as the family based on marriage," Cardinal Brady maintained.

By asking that the family based on marriage is worthy of support from the state the cardinal clarified that the intention is not to penalize those who have chosen different types of relationships.

"It is rather to uphold the principle that the family based on marriage between a man and woman is so intimately connected to the good of society that it is deserving of special care and protection," he said.

Commitment

"The link between a public commitment to life-long marriage, and the stability of the family unit, as well as the distinct role of a mother and father in the generation and education of children, gives marriage a unique and qualitatively different relationship to society than any other form of relationship," Cardinal Brady pointed out.

The family is an indispensable foundation for society, affirmed Benedict XVI in his video message during the Jan. 18 concluding mass of the World Meeting of Families.

"We have received life from others, which is developed and matured with the truths and values that we learn in relation and communion with the rest," he explained.

"It is in the home where one learns to truly live, to value life and health, liberty and peace, justice and truth, work, concord and respect," said the Pope. A truth valid for all cultures and societies.

© Innovative Media, Inc.
Reprinting ZENIT's articles requires written permission from the editor.

Featured Speaker: Michele and Dan Flemming

Dan and Michele are a modern couple who have lived through the challenges of living a chaste life in today’s culture. Their honest and frank approach provides a powerful message of compassion and redemption.

Dan and Michele Fleming are trained marriage preparation facilitators and they speak extensively to both adults and teens on chastity, relationships, and finding true love. Dan is a sales manager in the IT industry, and Michele is a PhD student in a Clinical Psychology program that integrates Christian spirituality with studies in both Theology and Marriage/Family issues. She is also a member of the Christian Association of Psychological Studies. Their interactive format and information based on current research in human relations provide a unique experience for both teen and adult audiences.

Michele is also a host for “St. Joseph Radio Presents,” a weekly EWTN radio broadcast heard nationally on local and Satellite stations. Michele served as the Director of Young Adult Ministry for the Diocese of San Diego, where her role was to evangelize and develop programming to help build the local faith community. She has worked as a consultant for the Diocese of San Diego and the Archdiocese of Los Angeles.

Ask Angela

How do you know if someone loves you?

We could write an entire book on the subject. This issue, we will focus on two simple elements of authentic love: trust and sacrifice. So, how do you know if someone loves you? Because they tell you! Yes, they may express their love by saying “I love you” with words, but more importantly, they tell you with their actions. If you are in an exclusive relationship, and your special someone cheats on you, they do not love you. They may have the desire to love you, but their actions are not following through. Trust and fidelity are essential building blocks of love. This is why marital infidelity is so painful. If you are dating someone who has cheated, it’s time to break it off. If you are married to this person, it is time to begin the process of healing, seek counseling to work through the problems that led to infidelity in the first place, and unite in the power of prayer. As an unmarried couple, emotions may drive you to want to stick around in hopes of better times. As a married couple, emotions may drive you to run away in response to the reality of the shame and betrayal. In either case, emotions are not leading you in the right direction. Love is a decision.

Pope John Paul the Great once said (and I’ll paraphrase), “A man truly loves a woman to the degree that he feels responsible for her.” Of course, this applies to love originating from either gender. This is why a real test of romantic love is not an emotional high or the chemistry we have with someone. This is certainly nice, but the true test is to what degree someone is willing to sacrifice themselves for the good of the other. I have a good friend whose father passed away several years ago. Her parents were married for nearly fifty years. Her mother spent twenty of those years caring for her bed-ridden husband. He, of course KNEW that he was loved. Self-sacrifice is a telltale sign of love.

Goretti Group Gazette January 2009

Esprit de Corps in 2009 & More!
By Angela Santero

Greetings friends! It’s hard to believe that the holiday season has come to a close and that 2009 has arrived. We hope that you were able to spend quality time with your family and friends and that the Baby Jesus found a warm cradle in your heart.

I traveled to Houston where my husband and I spent treasured time with family. In all, we totaled about 26 people around the dinner table. While I was in town, my sister-in-love arranged for me to deliver a chastity talk to the local youth and a few parents. Special thanks to the Ross family for packing more than 45 people into their home and to each of the generous parents who supported us financially following the talk.

I was very impressed with the youth who attended. It was clear that their parents have taken a proactive role in their education, formation and upbringing. They asked insightful questions and carried a unique glow that transmitted the joy of purity. I am grateful that they entrusted them to me for a brief moment of their lives. The following remark from one member of the audience encapsulates what many of them had to say.

“The talk was engaging and inspiring. Youth groups look for ‘hands on’ talks and learning in an easy, fun environment. You did an awesome job handling the ‘sex’ talk and exemplifying the importance of purity. Thank you for inspiring me personally to continue in my chaste lifestyle. I go to public school so it’s hard to maintain that idea! You really touched me – thank you! God bless!”

Thank you! And thanks to each of you who has allowed us to serve you in 2008. The year 2009 promises to be as blessed as we allow it to be. As a ministry, we are centering in on the theme of “Esprit de Corps.” Anyone who has served in the Marine Corps is familiar with this term. It represents a spirit of unity that drives individuals to give selflessly for the sake of a greater mission. In our case, we can take this term very literally as “Corps” translates to “Body” and our mission is to mobilize the Body of Christ to embrace and share the benefits of pure love. One way we have begun to do this was through a dinner meeting attended by San Diego’s Bishop Salvatore Cordileone and several other leaders on January 3rd. Our goal was to invite the community to join us in launching several projects that we hope to introduce in 2009. The Chariots of Fire missionary program will allow recent high school and college grads to ignite hearts with the pure love glowing from the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Our membership program will team like-minded people to persevere in their desire to live chastely.

Special thanks to Anthony’s Fish Grotto for sponsoring this important event. We are already seeing fruits unfold with leaders who are committing their time and treasure to these critical projects.

You will also see a new spirit of unity in our monthly e-newsletters. Each month, we will focus on a chastity-related theme. In this way, we can navigate together through the complicated challenges that meet our culture today. We welcome you to invite others to join our e-newsletter at http://www.thegorettigroup.org/ and to blog your comments at http://thegorettigroup.blogspot.com/. May the Sacred Heart of Jesus reign in your heart now and forever!

US Bishops on Freedom of Choice Act

"A Good State Protects the Lives of All"

BALTIMORE, Maryland, NOV. 12, 2008 (Zenit.org).- Here is the statement Cardinal Francis George, the president of the U.S. episcopal conference, published today at the end of the bishops' three-day fall assembly.* * *

"If the Lord does not build the house, in vain do its builders labor; if the Lord does not watch over the city, in vain does the watchman keep vigil." (Psalm 127, vs. 1)

The Bishops of the Catholic Church in the United States welcome this moment of historic transition and look forward to working with President-elect Obama and the members of the new Congress for the common good of all. Because of the Church's history and the scope of her ministries in this country, we want to continue our work for economic justice and opportunity for all; our efforts to reform laws around immigration and the situation of the undocumented; our provision of better education and adequate health care for all, especially for women and children; our desire to safeguard religious freedom and foster peace at home and abroad. The Church is intent on doing good and will continue to cooperate gladly with the government and all others working for these goods.

The fundamental good is life itself, a gift from God and our parents. A good state protects the lives of all. Legal protection for those members of the human family waiting to be born in this country was removed when the Supreme Court decided Roe vs. Wade in 1973. This was bad law. The danger the Bishops see at this moment is that a bad court decision will be enshrined in bad legislation that is more radical than the 1973 Supreme Court decision itself.

In the last Congress, a Freedom of Choice Act (FOCA) was introduced that would, if brought forward in the same form today, outlaw any "interference" in providing abortion at will. It would deprive the American people in all fifty states of the freedom they now have to enact modest restraints and regulations on the abortion industry. FOCA would coerce all Americans into subsidizing and promoting abortion with their tax dollars. It would counteract any and all sincere efforts by government and others of good will to reduce the number of abortions in our country.

Parental notification and informed consent precautions would be outlawed, as would be laws banning procedures such as partial-birth abortion and protecting infants born alive after a failed abortion. Abortion clinics would be deregulated. The Hyde Amendment restricting the federal funding of abortions would be abrogated.

FOCA would have lethal consequences for prenatal human life.FOCA would have an equally destructive effect on the freedom of conscience of doctors, nurses and health care workers whose personal convictions do not permit them to cooperate in the private killing of unborn children. It would threaten Catholic health care institutions and Catholic Charities. It would be an evil law that would further divide our country, and the Church should be intent on opposing evil.

On this issue, the legal protection of the unborn, the bishops are of one mind with Catholics and others of good will. They are also pastors who have listened to women whose lives have been diminished because they believed they had no choice but to abort a baby. Abortion is a medical procedure that kills, and the psychological and spiritual consequences are written in the sorrow and depression of many women and men. The bishops are single-minded because they are, first of all, single-hearted.

The recent election was principally decided out of concern for the economy, for the loss of jobs and homes and financial security for families, here and around the world. If the election is misinterpreted ideologically as a referendum on abortion, the unity desired by President-elect Obama and all Americans at this moment of crisis will be impossible to achieve. Abortion kills not only unborn children; it destroys constitutional order and the common good, which is assured only when the life of every human being is legally protected. Aggressively pro-abortion policies, legislation and executive orders will permanently alienate tens of millions of Americans, and would be seen by many as an attack on the free exercise of their religion.

This statement is written at the request and direction of all the Bishops, who also want to thank all those in politics who work with good will to protect the lives of the most vulnerable among us. Those in public life do so, sometimes, at the cost of great sacrifice to themselves and their families; and we are grateful. We express again our great desire to work with all those who cherish the common good of our nation. The common good is not the sum total of individual desires and interests; it is achieved in the working out of a common life based upon good reason and good will for all.

Our prayers accompany President-elect Obama and his family and those who are cooperating with him to assure a smooth transition in government. Many issues demand immediate attention on the part of our elected "watchman." (Psalm 127) May God bless him and our country.

© Innovative Media, Inc.
Reprinting ZENIT's articles requires written permission from the editor.

The St. Maria Goretti Mass—A Light for Life in the Darkness of a Culture of Death
By Peggy Tacchino

“I came that they might have LIFE and have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10)

Unfortunately, we find ourselves living in a culture that has not embraced the gift of true life that Jesus came to offer. Our world is upside down in its understanding of love and life. With FOCA looming, poised to plunder the rights of children, women and faithful people in the United States, we find ourselves more desperate for truth than ever. What is this truth for which we thirst? It is the truth that each of us is a unique creation of God’s and a reflection of His own Being. It is the truth that our bodies were made to glorify God and we are designed appreciate the great gift of our sexuality through chastity, no matter what state of life we find ourselves (married, single, religious). It is the truth that God is love, and His love is the only thing stronger than the darkness that so strangles our society.

As St. Francis of Assisi said, “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light from a single candle.” Thus, since October 3, 2008, faithful people have been gathering every First Friday of the month at Our Lady of the Rosary Parish in Downtown, San Diego, to be that light in the darkness and pray for the rise of more candles.

They come from near and far to share in the greatest prayer our Church has to offer—the Mass. Attendees join as one body in Christ, asking Our Father to heal their hearts, the hearts of those they love, and every broken soul living in this fallen world. The St. Maria Goretti Mass for chastity is a prayer to bring an understanding of the virtue of chastity back into our society, that we might fully comprehend the dignity and beauty of life and live the joy that Jesus said He would make “complete.” It is the hope of those who pray that a restoration of the fundamental truth of the joy of purity would not only bring freedom to souls enslaved to sexual sin, but would, ultimately, bring our nation and our world back to the truth that every life is sacred—from conception to natural death.

So impassioned to pray for the virtue of chastity are they, that the bright lights came out to shine even one day after the New Year holiday. On January 2, a loyal sixty or so attended this month’s St. Maria Goretti Mass, where Fr. Anthony Saroki, the vocations director for the diocese of San Diego, presided. Fr. Saroki shared an inspiring homily about how he found the grace to stay chaste in his own life. Prayer, exercise and accountability were his top three practices to stay pure.

Following the Mass, Alex DePaulis, an Our Lady of the Rosary Parishioner, and convert to the Catholic faith, shared the beautiful truth about God’s passionate love for us and His desire for us to fall as in love with Him as He has with us. After recommitting themselves to living chastity, those in attendance praised and worshipped the God who gives us the grace to do so. All in attendance, left as they typically do—on fire with the Holy Spirit and ready to love as Jesus calls us to—with our whole heart, mind, soul, BODY and strength.

The St. Maria Goretti Mass is a bright candle in a dark world and it is our prayer that attendance will grow in 2009, and the lights that leave the church refueled and glowing brighter will multiply until the Lord’s love catches like wildfire. It is our hope that we will not only proclaim with St. John, but relish the fact that: “What came to be through Him was life and this life was the light of the human race; the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” (John 1: 3-4) Please join us in glowing bright for Christ at the next St. Maria Goretti Mass, which will be held on February 6, 2009.

Mandy Erskine

Mandy Erskine grew up in central Washington with her family. She was baptized Catholic as an infant and attended church regularly, but it wasn't until after she received the Sacrament of Confirmation in the Catholic Church that she really started taking the Faith seriously. Soon after her Confirmation Mandy began speaking at her high school youth group, then traveled the United States and Canada with REACH Youth Ministry for nearly 2 years.

While on REACH Mandy had the opportunity to share her faith and her passion for Chastity. After her time serving on the REACH team, Mandy moved to San Diego, CA. There she works for Catholic Answers in the sales department and speaks with The Goretti Group. She has been on the Speaker's Bureau with The Goretti Group since 2004.

During Mandy's presentations audiences are captivated by her energy. She takes her audience on a journey through the darkness of the world's view into the fullness of what we were created for as Men and Women, Male and Female created in the Image and Likeness of God. Mandy's goal in her presentation is to start a REVOLUTION by untwisting, untangling and restoring the beauty of our Sexuality. She accomplishes these goals and inspires by the Grace of God and through stories of her own life struggles.

Mandy has been described as INSPIRING, REFRESHING, FUNNY and LIFE CHANGING. She will have you laughing, crying and ready to start a new kind of 'Sexual Revolution'. One that is Chaste By His Grace.

November 2008 e-Newsletter

A Model Soldier of Love and Life

Greetings! I hope this email finds each of you in a spirit of gratitude as we approach Thanksgiving Day. I would like to take a moment to share how grateful I am to have known a very holy woman who I believe is now a saint in heaven.

Sue Lopez was a loving wife and mother to her husband Roger and her four beautiful children Johnny, Laura, Marie and David. She was also a shining light to many of us in the San Diego community. Few of us knew fully of her battle with cancer because she carried her cross so valiantly. On November 23rd, the feast day of Christ the King, her suffering ceased and Sue returned to the Father.

If ever there was a need to pray and to act on the behalf of the defenseless, Sue was there and normally leading the pack. Among her leadership efforts, was a monthly prayer procession from Our Lady of the Rosary Church to the local Planned Parenthood on First Street in San Diego. She understood that public prayer was a most powerful way to build a culture of life and love. Far from the media’s twisted image of “an angry pro-lifer,” she exhibited great joy and compassion for the mothers she sought to help, as well as their children who, in some cases, lived on because of her intervention.

This past Saturday, I spent just a couple of hours praying in front of Planned Parenthood and speaking to a dozen or so women who stumbled in to have abortions. I would like to share a few of the details with you in an effort to honor the work Sue has begun.

Brokenness. That is the word I would use to encapsulate the experience. Not a single woman who entered or left the abortion-mill was happy to be there. They were all broken-hearted. Several of the couples paused while I showed them the sonogram of my daughter whose heart stopped beating at ten weeks gestation. I shared the loss I experienced in hopes that they would avoid similar pain. Some were receptive, some were hardened and some were downright hateful. Sue spent a good portion of her life receiving such hatred in return for her Christ-centered love. When I once thanked her for being such a servant-leader in our community, she down-played her role and shifted recognition elsewhere.

Today is a day of recognition for you Sue. You have taught us how to live, how to suffer and how to die. You have run the good race and fought the good fight. Now, let the good and faithful servant receive her crown of righteousness, and with it, the gratitude of the many unborn children who surely must have greeted you in heaven. We love you and we will miss you. Until we meet again…

~Angela Santero

Please visit http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/suelopez to read the beautiful last written words of Sue Lopez, as well as hope-filled sentiments from her children.


The New Marriage Movement
By Chris Morales

Congratulations to all who voted to protect marriage. Thank you to all who actively participated in getting others to vote too!

In this effort to pass Proposition 8, we encountered many difficulties but never lost hope in what is in the heart of men and women. There is a natural desire for union in a wedded relationship and for the procreation and education of children. Furthermore, there is a natural desire for every child to have a mother and father in the loving unit we have long known as the family.

Californians reasserted that marriage is between man and woman as they did with Proposition 22 eight years ago. They saw a redefinition of marriage by the California Supreme Court and returned the definition to “only marriage between man and woman is valid or recognized” in the State of California. This time the passage of the marriage law is enshrined in the California State Constitution. Despite frivolous lawsuits brought against Proposition 8, the Californians decision remains that marriage is only between man and woman for the good of children and for the good of society.

The power to amend the California State Constitution is reserved by the people of California. No state entity grants this power to the people because it is reserved by the people. Californians exercised their fundamental right to vote and said what kind of society they want to live in.

Californians also protected every citizen's first amendment rights to the freedom of speech and the free practice of religion. No one can accuse Christians and many others of hate speech for expressing what we believe: that there is something special about the union of one man and one woman. At the heart of this battle is an understanding of the dignity of each person and a universal call to chastity. Chastity is driven by the reality that our bodies speak a powerful language in the marital embrace. It is thus foundational to marriage and thus foundational to the family and society. Given that 47% of Californians voted no on Proposition 8, there is plenty of opportunity to clarify this reality.

The Goretti Group was happy to send speakers where they were requested to help clarify the pro-marriage position. We spoke through our eNewsletter, on the radio and at local parishes and prayed right alongside many of you at rallies to protect marriage. But the long term solution to this problem is not an urgent race to gain political votes. Rather, it is an urgent need to educate and transform hearts to the joy and freedom gained in a lifestyle rooted in purity. Please keep The Goretti Group in your prayers as we continue the work of building up marriage and the culture of life and love.

To support or get involved in rejuvenating our efforts to heal and rejuvenate society send us an email at speakers@thegorettigroup.org.


Manning Up for Christ!
By Angela Santero

Over the past five years, the Goretti Group has served youth by delivering gender-focused retreats highlighting our identity as men and women in the kingdom of God. This year, over eighty five young men rallied at Green Oak’s Ranch in Vista, Ca to learn what it means to “Man Up for Christ”. Goretti Group mentors teamed with parish mentors at St. Mark’s in San Marcos to deliver a powerful retreat on November 7, 8 & 9th. Talks, music, activities, sacraments including Nocturnal Adoration worked together to offer a powerful experience of Christ for these young men. At one moment, speaker Felipe Barajas invited each of the young men to give their lives over to Christ. It was very moving to see a room full of men strengthening themselves to “Man-up” for Christ.

In the end, 97% of the guys said that they felt more comfortable about living God’s plan for sexuality and a few others had these things to say about the retreat.
“I liked the games and when we prayed in the little room.” (this was Nocturnal Adoration)
“I liked the bonding and the food.”
“I really got touched by this retreat.”
“I would definitely tell a friend about this retreat because it enlightened me and helped me get closer to God.”
“I liked that we accepted living the life of chastity.”
“I liked the music that was played, also everybody opened up to each other about becoming men.”

Thank you, St. Marks, for entrusting to us the souls of your young men. We inevitably receive more than we ever could give.

St. Mark Girls Retreat – A Holy Spirit Success
By Peggy Tacchino

On the weekend of November 14, eighty-five beautiful young women from St. Mark’s Parish in San Marcos, CA, left everything behind for three days to attend a chastity-centered Confirmation retreat at the Green Oak Ranch in Vista, CA. The young women were poised with hearts open wide to receive the message of their true identity -- daughters of the King of Kings. Five powerful talks were delivered on topics ranging from the backward portrayal of beauty and sex in the media, to personal witnesses of healing from sexual abuse. One man was even brave enough to enter this foreboding flock of females and share with them how they deserve to be treated like princesses by the guys in their lives, as well as the qualities of true beauty that each real man of God seeks in a woman. In addition, volunteer adult leaders and junior leaders led small group members into deeper friendships with one another, with our Lord, and with His mother, providing them with a solid foundation on which to build a life of purity.

Not only did the talks and small groups reveal the truth of their dignity and beauty, but each girl was beyond blessed by the opportunity to receive Christ’s forgiveness in the Sacrament of Reconciliation and to commune with His very Body and Blood at two Masses over the weekend. We are so grateful to Fr. Gerry and Fr. Al for sacrificing their time to bring Christ to us. Through them, God certainly did His part to bring healing, peace, and hope that He really will “make all things new.” And, as each girl walked out of the final Mass on Sunday with a rose in her hand, the truth in her heart, and a crown on a head held up a little higher than it was on Friday, the Holy Spirit proved Himself to be working as mightily as ever.

Praise God for an awesome and transforming retreat, after the conclusion of which one girl noted: “It made me truly believe I am worth more than what I am told. God loves us, and will help us live a good life.” Amen, sister, Amen. We pray that each one of the girls from St. Mark’s will continue to live in the light of the truth that she is created perfect by her Heavenly Father who will do anything for His precious daughter.

Kathya Canale

Kathya Canale is from Mexico and comes from a large catholic practicing family, being the second of eight brothers and sisters. She has a Bachelor degree in Pedagogy and a Master degree in Educational Science from the University of Navarre (Spain), where she studied courses in Philosophical Anthropology, Ethics, and Theology. Also, she took courses at the Institute of Family Sciences of the same university.

During her stay in Spain, beside studying, she worked at a center of sexual education and natural family planning, where she gave courses and conducted talks about sexuality and affectivity.
For many years she lead a discussion group of young adults to talk about current pro-life issues from the point of view of bio-ethics and she has been involved in many pro-life activities. The experience of living in Spain for almost 7 years gave her the chance of meeting people from different cultures and knowing different ways of thinking which has been very helpful for her profession.

She volunteers in a pro-life association and works as a family/adolescent counselor as well as a speaker giving conferences to children, teenagers, young adults and to married couples about several topics. Among the most frequent topics Kathya talks about are those related with the education of sexuality, psychology of the affectivity (emotions, feelings, passions, desires, etc.) and the nature of loving and dating.

Her particular style invites one to think and to reflect about the true sense of sexuality and love from a perspective founded/sustained/based on human nature; thus, her talks might be easily understood by every people independent of creeds or beliefs.

October 2008 Goretti Group Gazette

Losing My Daughter and Gaining the Sacred Heart of Jesus
By Angela Santero

Greetings! Some of you may know that I was recently married and that my husband and I were blessed to conceive just a month after our wedding. We were elated and immediately began planning for our child’s arrival. Paul placed his hand on my tummy and prayed over our baby every morning and evening. It was so exciting to see the heart beating at our seven week doctor’s visit as our little gift became more visible. However, we returned three weeks later only to find that her heart stopped beating and that she went to heaven.

While the experience of losing a child was painful, I found that there is great joy on the other end of every suffering that we unite to Christ. Please allow me to take just a few moments to share the joy and love that our daughter’s short life has inspired.

Each time my husband and I come together we pray “Holy Trinity, make us one in mind, heart body and soul; bring about through us new life”. The first love that her life inspired is that within our own relationship. It is an incredible joy to know that Paul and I have cooperated with God in creating an eternal soul and that that eternal soul is an embodiment of our very love for one another. We take comfort in believing that we have the first child of our family interceding for us in heaven.

For me personally, my dream has always been to become an earthly mother. At 37, my daughter, but for a short time, has helped me realize that dream. Her life has inspired me to work to become a better spiritual mother to all of those whose souls I am entrusted to nurture, care for and guide. Her life has created a great hope to fulfill my eternal dream of one day stepping into my place in heaven, embracing my heavenly mother and now being embraced by my daughter as mother. I want her to be proud of the life I lived in that moment.

For the medical team involved, our doctor was genuinely shocked when he saw that Margaret Mary’s body remained incorrupt inside of me for an entire month. He expected to see little during the ultrasound required prior to my surgery. He honored our request to respect her remains and have them released to the morgue, which is not hospital policy. Normally, if the baby is younger than 20 weeks, the baby’s remains are treated as medical waste and incinerated with other unspeakable things. Prior to my procedure he assured me that he had advised the nurses assisting him to take a respectful and serious tone in the surgery room. Following my procedure, he shared with my husband that the experience had helped him see the respect we should pay toward the remains of all human beings, regardless of their stage of life.

I have no doubt that the greatest love my daughter inspired is that of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. When Paul and I were engaged, I was inspired while praying before the Blessed Sacrament, to name our first daughter Margaret Mary (after St. Margaret Mary Alacoque: Promoter of the Sacred Heart Devotion). Paul affectionately abbreviated her name to “Maggie” and we began to refer to our future family as “when Maggie comes along”. We also joked that Maggie was destined for the convent since both of us discerned the religious life but neither one of us stepped up to the plate. After our child’s death, we felt that it was important to name her but didn’t want to presume her gender. We thought perhaps we should choose a gender-neutral name and left it at that. The next day, we attended mass at a place we seldom frequent and I had a beautiful experience. While I was reading some literature in the lobby, I over-heard a nun who was showing some workers around the grounds. One of them asked her name. The nun turned away from them, walked toward me, smiled and said “Margaret”. I was shocked. A few moments later, I introduced myself to her and asked if she was named after St. Margaret Mary Alacoque. She said yes and offered that her mother bore her when she was 38, just about the age I would have been had Maggie been born. The peace I had in my heart confirmed that this was a beautiful message from God that our child was in fact a little girl and that her name is Margaret Mary. I knew as well that in such a moment, God was sharing the mission of my little girl, to join her name-sake in sharing the devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, especially with regard to suffering.

In this devotion, we are asked to receive communion every First Friday and make a weekly Eucharistic Hour in reparation for the sins committed against the Sacred Heart of Jesus. We are also asked to place an image of his heart in a prominent place in our homes. This image should remind us to make Christ the king of our hearts, our relationships and our families, especially during times of suffering. Within each suffering, is an opportunity to experience the passion, death and resurrection of Jesus more intimately. My daughter’s life has been an opportunity for me to experience this. It has been a great suffering and a great joy that has opened my heart more fully to love with the heart of Christ.

In these next few weeks leading up to the election, let us not waste a single suffering – be it lack of sleep, be it hopeless unemployment, be it loneliness. Such sufferings and those you find to be uniquely yours are powerful opportunities to offer hope in what can seem to be a hopeless situation. May the intercession of my daughter bring you closer to the Heart of Christ. To my dearest little one: one day, we will be fully united again, one day I will hold you tight in my arms. Today, let us continue to meet in the depths of the most Sacred Heart of Jesus. Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, “Thy Kingdom Come!”


"Family concerns surface during hearing on Prop 8" states the title of the San Diego Union Tribune article of October 3, 2008
By Dr. Jennifer Roback Morse

Harold Pike, "graduate" of the Same Sex Marriage Affects Everyone program was quoted in this article: "We've already seen the impact of fatherless households... I don't see why we would remove a mother or father from the get-go from a household." Look how Harold has become an effective advocate for marriage!

This article also quotes Dr. J: "Same-sex unions violate the 'child-centered institution of marriage. Mothers and fathers are not interchangeable,' she said, adding gay couples shouldn't wed because they can't bear children."

Here is the full text of Dr. Morse's opening statement. She was greeted with thunderous applause from the many marriage supporters in the auditorium. Our people came out in force, which was a good thing, since the panel of State Senate and State Assembly members was completely stacked against natural marriage. We met many wonderful people who had come from all over Los Angeles to show their support for traditional marriage. All in all, it was a fun day.

I represent the supporters of Proposition 8. We are not here to hurt anybody. Every legitimate objective of gay and lesbian people can be met without redefining marriage. Proposition 8 is not a referendum on whether we like gay people or homosexual practice. We believe Proposition 8 is a referendum about the meaning of marriage.

Marriage is a child-centered, gender-based organic institution that attaches fathers and mothers to each other and fathers to their children. Men and women come together to create children, independently of any government. The duty of caring for those children exists even without a government or any political order.

Opponents of traditional marriage sometimes argue that marriage is not fundamentally about children, since many married couples do not have children. But every child has parents. Every child has a legitimate interest in having a relationship with both parents. Children have a right to know and be known by both parents. Children have a right to their genetic and social heritage.

Children cannot possibly defend these rights by themselves. Adult society must protect them by preventing harm, not through restitution after the fact. Marriage is adult society's way of protecting these universal and legitimate interests of children. The objection that some marriages don't have children stands the rationale for marriage on its head. It views marriage from the adult's perspective. It gives a glimpse of how profoundly adult-centered marriage will become if the advocates of same sex marriage have their way.

Same sex marriage will create both direct and indirect harms to children. The children of same sex couples will be directly harmed. But indirectly, same sex marriage will affect all children.

The children of same sex parents will be deprived of a relationship with at least one of their biological parents. Children are sometimes separated from one or both of their parents. But these situations are universally recognized as unavoidable tragedies. Deliberately depriving a child of his parent is grotesquely unjust and unspeakably cruel.

Same sex parenting, which same sex marriage can only accelerate, creates an adult entitlement to separate children from the parent outside the same sex couple. The UN Convention on the Rights of the Child affirms that the child shall have, "as far as possible, the right to know and be cared for by his or her parents," meaning of course, the father and mother who gave him life. For exactly this reason, France has declined to recognize same sex marriage, same sex adoption rights or a right to reproduce.

Indirectly, same sex marriage affects everyone. The California Supreme Court's decree authorizing same sex marriage was an implicit, yet unmistakable, claim that men and women are interchangeable as parents. The contributions to child-rearing that appear to be distinctly masculine can be rendered by a woman. The unique contributions of mothers can in principle be provided by men. But the claim that men and women are perfect substitutes undercuts the very idea of sexual orientation.

A gay man's insistence on a male sexual partner shows that he does not regard men and women as perfect substitutes. Even a very masculine woman is not a substitute for the male partner that the gay man desires. Gender is relevant to the gay community. The State of California has no business claiming, without proof, that gender is irrelevant to children.

In practice, the claim that mothers and fathers are interchangeable will not affect men and women the same way. Same sex marriage will marginalize men from the family even more than they already are. After instituting same sex marriage, Canada changed their birth certificates. Where the father's name should be, there is a check-off box: father or "other parent." Fatherhood has been reduced to a check-off box.

Two recent studies have estimated the taxpayer costs of fatherless families. The title of one study, The One Hundred Billion Dollar Man, announces the conclusion of the costs to U.S. taxpayers. The other study estimated that fatherlessness costs the taxpayers of California at least $4.8 billion annually, in costs to the criminal justice system, child health and welfare, and foregone earnings.

We have no idea how much fatherlessness will increase, as a result of Californians absorbing the message that fathers are disposable.

Same Sex marriage removes the biological principle from determining parentage. That principle will have to be replaced with something else. There will no longer be "natural parents," only "legal parents." Parentage will have to be assigned, not merely recognized, by the state, thus giving the state more power over the lives of ordinary people.

The advocates of man/woman marriage come from every ethnic group, and from all major religions. We are united in two core beliefs. We believe that mothers and fathers are not interchangeable. And, we believe that children are entitled to be born into a family of the mother and father who brought them into being through an act of love.

When slavery was abolished, all slaves became free. When women obtained the right to vote, the discrimination ended with the very next election. But for children of same sex marriage, the situation will be different. When we come to our senses 30 years from now and realize that we have perpetrated an injustice against children, not a single child born fatherless or motherless within a same sex marriage will get his missing parent back. For children, only prevention will protect their rights.

That is why I will be one of the millions of Californians who vote Yes on Proposition 8. We invite you to join us in voting Yes on Proposition 8.

Many of Dr. J's points in this speech can be found in the CD and DVD set of her talk series, "Same Sex Marriage Affects Everyone." Buy the Home Party Kit to share this vital information with your friends, family, and church.

Proposition 8 Video: How Your Children Will be Affected

Please view this video and send it to as many people as you know in California. Proposition 8 is about defining marriage in the California Constitution saying "only marriage between man and woman is valid or recognized in the State of California". Without this definition to support us we cannot win the important fight for the minds and hearts of public school children who will be taught that same-sex marriage is normal, acceptable, and even desirable.

In Massachusetts same-sex marriage has become the law; watch the painful experience of real parents as they have their right to educate their own child stripped from them by the school district. If Proposition 8 fails you will see the same thing happen in California!

See the video here!

St. Maria Goretti Mass

Join us the first Friday of every month to gather in prayer with others who value the virtue of chastity and recognize its positive impact on ourselves, our families and our society (see Facebooks).

We believe living chastity according to our state in life allows us the freedom to find... true love. It is our dream that one day everyone will have a real chance to discover this love and to live a happy life.

As the Goretti Group we are united in prayer and action to bring the simple beauty of this message to the world. We are virgins and non virgins. We are male and female. We are young and old. We are single, married and ready to make a difference.

Saint Maria Goretti pray for us.

Evening Program celebrated every first Friday of the month at Our Lady of the Rosary in Downtown, San Diego - California. All (ages) are welcome. Please enter the parking lot at 1629 Columbia St.

Where: Our Lady of the Rosary Catholic Church - 1629 Columbia Street; San Diego, CA 92101 map to location

When: See dates under Chastity Related Events at http://www.thegorettigroup.org/events.htm.

Schedule:
6:15PM Confession
6:30PM Mass

Who: Teens, Young Adults, Adults!

Goretti Group Now on Facebooks!

Introducing a new way to be in touch with The Goretti Group. The Goretti Group is now on Facebooks! We have two sites on Facebooks; one is dedicated to St. Maria Goretti for prayer and intercession and the other is dedicated for promoting marriage.

The church invokes the saints to pray for us at every mass we attend. Many blessings are obtained for us by those who have preceded us into Heaven. Saints are held up for imitation according to the virtue they practiced. Our saint, St. Maria Goretti, was known for her chastity made manifest in her martyrdom. So please join our site to become part of the prayer team and to receive new petitions to pray for the advance of chastity in our Church and in the world.

Marriage is a goal of us all, whether we are called to become priests (married to the Church), called to the sacrament of marriage, or to be religious (or singles) in perpetual celibacy which symbolizes the ultimate marriage of humanity to God in eternity. We are called on in a particular way in our generation to understand the deeper meaning of marriage and to promote and protect marriage in secular society that often needs clarification about marriage on so many different levels. Join us and find out more.

The Goretti Group Blog

Welcome to The Goretti Group Blog!

This blog is dedicated to spreading a culture of love and truth. We are an organization involved in spreading the message of chastity, modesty, and the Theology of the Body. We also speak about relationships and Christian dating and marriage. Our speakers talk at venues and travel to wherever we are called to reach our audience. Some venues we typically speak at are conferences, parochial schools, college campuses, Theology on Tap events, rallies, confirmation classes to name a few.

We are a place that affirms your decision to live a chaste and pure life according to the natural light of reason the Creator has endowed every individual and we encourage everyone to embrace this way of life since it the true and authentic and honest way to really be human and it also makes us capable of loving and becoming better people in a life lived for others instead of a life lived solely for the benefit of oneself.

If you feel called to start a Goretti Group Chapter to pass on these ideals and values to your peers and loved ones you may send us a message via this blog or email us at speakers@thegorettigroup.org. Also, if you would like to ask a speaker to come and speak to your group (e.g. youth, young adults, parents) you may contact us for scheduling a speaker. Please feel free to visit our online store to buy materials and learn more about us at our website at www.thegorettigroup.org.